What If Your Health Journey Is Really Self-Trust

Come and listen to our Host, Tina Spoletini, as she chats with inspiring guest Leah Davidson for our "Victory Over Fear" Podcast Mini-Series.

This powerful series explores what it truly means to move forward despite uncertainty, self-doubt, and life's challenges. Through authentic conversations, personal stories, and practical wisdom, we uncover how courage is built one step at a time. Fear may be loud, but it doesn't have to have the final say.

Together, we'll discover how healing, faith, resilience, and action can help us overcome the barriers that keep us stuck. Whether you're facing a major life transition, stepping into a new opportunity, or simply learning to trust yourself again, these conversations will encourage you to embrace bravery and move confidently toward your purpose.

Join us as we celebrate the strength found in vulnerability, the growth that comes from taking risks, and the victories that happen when we choose courage over fear.

Leah Davidson is a nutrition coach, fitness professional and speaker,  She helps women struggling with weight gain, low energy, and hormonal changes create sustainable weight loss through emotional fitness, nutrition, and movement.

Drawing from her own journey through ADHD, depression, alcohol struggles, and years of feeling disconnected from herself, Leah teaches women how to stop fighting their bodies and start reconnecting with themselves. Her approach combines practical health strategies with emotional resilience, helping women feel confident, present, and like themselves again—without restrictive diets or spending hours in the gym.

Through her work, Leah empowers women to reclaim their health, strengthen their relationships, and fully live the life they've worked so hard to create.

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We talk with Leah Davidson about the kind of courage it takes to release an old identity and build sustainable health from the inside out. We connect fear, loneliness, sobriety, and diet culture to one practical idea: small daily steps create the momentum that builds real confidence.

• letting go of a past version of ourselves as a form of grief
• loneliness and fear of missing out during lifestyle change
• handling different goals and habits inside a relationship
• using vulnerability and clear requests to get support at home
• Leah’s path through sobriety, depression, and an ADHD diagnosis
• anchoring motivation in purpose, relationships, and presence
• progress over perfection through micro decisions and small wins
• motivation coming from momentum and consistent action
• reconnecting with the body by questioning thoughts without judgement
• breaking the binge restrict cycle and rejecting “good vs bad” foods
• building balanced meals by adding protein and plants
• finding a deeper why with the seven layers of why journaling exercise
• writing by hand to access subconscious truth and inner wisdom

For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com

Transcript

Welcome And Season Theme

SPEAKER_00 0:00

It's Divas That Care Radio. Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change. Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone. This is a global movement for women by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations. To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show. Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Welcome back to Confidence in Bloom, the podcast where women over 45 reconnect with themselves, rebuild their confidence, and create a life they truly love. This season we're exploring victory over fear, those moments when fear is loud, uncertainty is real, and yet something inside us calls us forward anyway. Today's guest is Leah Davidson, a nutrition coach, fitness professional, and speaker who helps women struggling with weight gain, low energy, and hormonal changes create sustainable health through emotional fitness, nutrition, and movement. Leah's journey is one of incredible courage. After losing her father suddenly, struggling with self-estrain, esteem, alcohol dependence, depression, ADHD, and years of restrictive dieting, she made a powerful decision to stop fighting herself and reconnecting with herself. Leah, today, Leah helps women create lasting change without extreme diets or spending hours in the gym showing them how to build health from the inside out. Welcome, Leah. I'm so excited to have you today.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yeah, thanks for having me, Tina. I'm excited to be here. Thank you for giving your space.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Of course, of course. I love talking to women about women. So this is great. I know that you have a lot of wisdom, experience to share with us. And uh we're we're gonna get started right away. Um, I just read your bio.

Fear Of Letting Old Self Go

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Your story truly is a powerful example of courage. When you look back, what was the biggest fear that you had to face when you first decided to prioritize your health and to change your lifestyle?

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Yeah, I think the biggest fear was letting go of the version of myself. Like it's almost like a part of you has to die, and we can hold on to the past versions of ourselves because it's familiar, because it's almost grounding us into uh into our life. And so letting go of the person who I once was to become the person that I was destined to be. And so I think just having that fear of embarking uh uncharted territory, I would say, and just letting go of things that weren't serving me anymore, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Yeah, totally. You know, I love I actually love that answer, letting a part of you, like allowing a part of you to die, right? Like that's we don't look at it like that, do we? Like in in in like generally, you know, grief we've I've talked about grief before, and there's so many different um ways grief affects us, right? I mean, it's not just death of a family member or a loved one, right? It's it's the death of anything. And so that's kind of a part of it. And I think so. I know that you've suffered with depression. I've suffered it with it myself, and I I almost feel like a part of me dies every time I go through a depressed, depressive state, right? Like there's something inside me that either wants to die or needs to die, that it's almost like that depression is almost, I want to say, allowing it to happen.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Yeah, yeah, like part of the process, right? Like it's a it's a signal that something's gotta shift, right? Like it's either gonna go one way, you know, down towards the bottom, or that is going to help propel us up and out and into something bigger and better for ourselves. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Now, on any health journey, um, you know, as well as probably most women listening that that journey can feel very lonely. What would you say to the woman who fears being misunderstood or left behind or disconnected from the people around her when she wants to start making changes? And this, of course, doesn't have to just be on a health journey. This is, you know, any kind of journey that we're starting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, any type of journey, whether it's like a new business venture or a new passion project, or, you know, like we were just talking about like the renovations in our house that we're doing, like big life projects that are going on. And so, yeah, it can absolutely feel lonely. And I felt super lonely when I was doing it because it seems like when you make a specific decision for you and for your life, like nobody else around you is, it seems like is on the same train. Like if you're lucky, you have people in your life that are on a health journey, but you know, like your partner, your kids, people in your household, your really close friends, there's a good chance that they aren't at the same place that you are in your life. And so it, I mean, it's a lifestyle change. And so the things that you're doing, the things that you're eating, the activities that you're participating in, um, they may look a lot different than what you're doing. Like maybe you're not going to, you know, um happy hours on Thursdays after work, or you know, maybe your friends are going out to like a bar or you know, something that you normally do. Um, maybe there's some things that you're saying no to and not all the time, but you're just limiting yourself to set yourself up for success. Like if I have a margarita in front of me, like I want to drink that margarita. Like, oh my gosh, yes. For me, like out of sight, out of mind works well. And so, especially at the beginning of the journey, right? Like, that's not to say down the road once you become more comfortable in what you're doing, but that beginning can be um, can be rough. And so, like limiting to what you're exposing yourself to can be seclusion and the fear of missing out, right? Everybody's doing this. Am I gonna miss out on doing this? And so it can feel like you are alone, and that can be scary because you're now in uncharted territory, you are doing this on your own. You do we do have that fear of failure that maybe it won't work out or that maybe we won't quote unquote make it to the other side. But um, the fear of of um of not changing needs to be greater than your fear of being uh temporary lonely. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

And and and I think too,

Loneliness And Fear Of Missing Out

SPEAKER_02 6:50

and not not necessarily with the health journey, but I think when you go on like a self-development type journey, you do lose people along the way, right? Yeah, but when you look back, and maybe this isn't normal, like the the same for everyone, but looking back, those people were holding you back to begin with, right? Now I know with the health journey it it is in some way the same, but in other ways not, right? Like I know myself, I've been trying to change some of the habits that I have at home with the eating, and my husband refuses to change. He says he's open to change, he says he's willing to change, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't change, right? And then I get frustrated and I'm like, so I have two options here. I can start making two different meals, which I refuse to do, right? Or I eat, you know, just to make him happy, like I eat whatever I make for him and put my, you know, wishes, my wants aside again, right? As most women are used to doing. And, you know, that's getting that gets really frustrating. After a while, I'm like, okay, this if I'm trying to change, and I know that you've dealt with this, I know that your clients go through this because I think it's a common, it's a common problem, right? How do you handle that? Like, what do you do? Because it's so frustrating.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Yeah. And it seems like when you're just starting your health journey, it's like you're so much more in tune to the things that are maybe um standing in your way of that. And like you come home and yeah, like your hubby's on the couch eating ice cream and you're like, oh, I just started. Like I just started, and now there's ice cream in front of me, and this looks so good. And like, oh, okay, well, I guess I'll start on Monday. Yeah, and that comes with that lonely party. Like, you can even feel lonely within your own household. And something that this does come up a lot with my clients and for myself, like I've had to have conversations with my partner, and a lot of women can be um hesitant to open up and have that real conversation with their partner because I liked what you said a little bit earlier about um a self-growth journey. And for me, like my health and weight loss journey, what I thought was a health and weight loss journey really was a self-growth journey. Yeah, there they are, they are one in the same. And so getting really clear on why it is, like, why are you wanting to lose weight? Why are you wanting to change your health? Why do you want to eat healthier food than what you've been doing? Like, what is actually going on behind the scenes? What is it for you? Like, are you not feeling confident in your own body? Are you maybe not showing up fully in your work because you feel like you have to hold back and kind of hiding behind it? Like, really going through the layers and asking yourself, like, why is this so important to me? And then actually sitting down with your partner and having that conversation and being like, hey, like this is where I'm at, this is where I'm feeling, this is how I'm feeling in my body. And it can be really hard to be vulnerable, even with our partners, the people that we live day in and day out with, because we're trying to be strong and maybe we don't want to put their stress on them or we fear that they won't understand us. But the best way to break through that is to come from a place, come from a place of love from your heart and be really transparent with them and say, this is what I'm going through right now. You may not know this, but here's where I'm at, and this is what I'm trying to achieve. And is this something that you would be willing to support me on? And then talk about what that looks like. Like maybe if he's eating ice cream, it's going to be like, you know, out of the house. Like you're gonna go like take the kids out and say you're going for a bike ride and you're gonna have ice cream, and then, you know, like whenever that looks like do it behind my back, whatever it is, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yeah, yeah, I I totally get that. And you know what's really funny about this part of the conversation is your partner is the one person in the world other than yourself that should already know what your dreams and goals are. And it's funny, like ironic, funny, of course, that these relationships that we have, right, that are strong and they're, you know, they're lifelong intended. And we still have that you I know you don't understand this, or you may not understand what I really want. Like what, what we're missing something here, right? Like we should. So my husband and I are both on this, you know, fight the inflammation kick, right? And and now I'm well overweight. He is not, he's got a beer belly, but he's not overweight. I don't consider him overweight, right? And we're fighting the same thing, but we have different ideas of what that means.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Like to me, like, I mean, I know like food, nutrition, it has a big part to do with inflammation. And he's on like he he wants to do more exercise, but eat the same bit. And I know both are work, like both will work, probably the same, right? I don't know that he'll get rid of the inflammation if he continues to eat the same way, right? But they both will work, right? And so I'm like, oh my gosh, we are like working for the same goal and we're doing two different things, like we're we're butting heads, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:06

Yeah, yeah. And isn't that true with the way that, and I don't know if it's true with you, Tina, but with the way that my partner and I, like if we're trying to solve one problem, like he will come up with it one way, and then my way is completely different, and we'll come up with the same answer, but we'll like fight along that way and it's like we just think so differently. So I definitely feel that, Tina.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

Yeah, and I I know I roll my eyes when he answers me, right? I roll my eyes, I can feel them, and I know he's looking at me like I heard those eyes roll, right? Right. Like I'm like, I can't believe you would even think that. But we are like again, right? That's where you know we have to read that book. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, because we think so different, right? Oh my gosh, yeah. Definitely. Now you've had experience in significant loss,

Getting Support At Home

SPEAKER_02 12:55

you lost your dad. So you've suffered with grief, depression. Now you have also an ADHD diagnosis. How did you? I mean, those are all really heavy, right? I'm feeling it already. How did you learn learn to keep moving forward when you had like so many things kind of holding you back and keeping you in that stuck position?

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Yeah, that was it was really eye-opening to me. And again, it was kind of that journey back to back to myself. And it started with um, you know, I used alcohol a lot in my past to cope with, you know, my emotions, with difficult situations, with past trauma. Like it was just something that I learned at a younger age of 16, um, that instead of having to feel my feelings, that I could just drink. And I also have like a very active mind. So it's going, going, going. So alcohol would be that thing that would just help me like relax. Like it was my chill. And so, you know, if any of you listening who have dealt with alcohol or someone who has um, you know, a dependence on alcohol is that it can be very destructive. Like one minute we're just having one to relax, and then the next minute you're 12 drinks in, puking in the bathroom, and you know, just doing things that are harming your body and then putting yourself in situations that are unsafe, that are causing harm, that are causing people to worry about you. And in my case, that was my partner. And so he basically said that, like Leah, like you need to get sober and quit drinking, or our relationship isn't gonna work out. And he was he was totally right. He was totally right. I was being self-destructive, it was driving wedge between our relationships. So on that 365 days that I um made a commitment to get sober, that is when everything that I had been suppressing started coming to the surface. And so that is when anxiety came in and depression came in, and that's when I started feeling, okay, something's not right. I can't focus, I can't, and so many things were coming up. So that's when I saw my doctor and psychiatrist and and uh and got diagnosed with that. And yeah, like getting up out of that was very, very challenging. Like I like I we were talking about before, like it would have been very easy for me to stay down. Um, but it c it came down to my family. Like my son has always been uh my biggest priority of being the best mom that I can be, of being present in his life, of making him feel loved and just like making sure that he never has a doubt in his mind that um that he is a great kid and that he has the support around him that he needs. And I know that that starts with me and myself and what's going on with me. Like I can't be strong for him if I am a mess inside, right? Like I'm not present, I'm in my head, I am second-guessing myself, I'm feeling not confident. And so that shows up in my relationship with him. So, first and foremost, it was him, and then it was my partner. Like he deserved to have somebody, like he's so great, like he's so he, you know, believes in me more than I believe in myself. Like he's the one who encouraged me to start my personal training business, to live out my dreams. Like he's just like, yes, Leah, like you can do it. And so I wanted to be a partner that he deserved. And I life is about our relationships, it's about the experiences that we have. At the end of the day, we're not gonna be like, oh my gosh, like I wish I had more muscles, or I wish I was a size two, or you know, I really wish I would have bought a bigger house. Like that would have made me more happy. It's like right, like we're looking back at I got to do this, I got to make these memories. Remember when we did this? And so that is what really like kept me going. If that I wanted to have a fulfilling life full of love and the people around me, that I had to, I had to, you know, move on and stand up and keep going.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Yeah, I love, I love that answer. That sounds like, you know, it's it was like a movie, right? It sounds like it was a movie theme because we see that on TV, but nobody ever talks about it like that, right? Nobody ever really says, I'm here for my husband. I'm, you know, I'm here for me, but I also am here to give my husband what he deserves from me, right? Like nobody ever says that, right? So thank you for that because it's nice to know that, you know, like people, you know, I mean, we all say that for our kids. I think, you know, I want to be the best mom I can be, I want to raise the best kids I can raise, right? But we don't really look at that as a relationship with our spouse as well, right? And so I think that's really important to, you know, to be aware of is what is like what are all the whys? It's not just about my kids. Yes, I know I want to be the best mom I can be, right? But I also want to be the best wife I can be. And if we're not in tune with what that means to me and to my spouse, we can't, we can't support it.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Oh, exactly. And I think the biggest gift that we can give to our spouses is to take care of ourselves. Because for me, like when I wasn't taking care of myself, when I was at my lowest of the low, I was taking it out on him. Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Like I'm expecting him to look after you. Right. Right?

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And there's one

Sobriety Grief ADHD And Purpose

SPEAKER_01 18:05

thing like to look after each other, like we're gonna be there for each other in sickness and in health. That's what it's all about. But he There's more to it, right? He can't regulate my emotions for me, right? But he can point out when they're off. Oh, and then well, yeah, we know how well that goes, Tina.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Yeah, bye.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

When they when they tell us to calm down.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Yeah, what are you upset about? Really? And you want to like seriously, you didn't see what you just did five minutes ago. No, and we're not gonna get into that, but you know, they can, but they can also that helps you also look inside and say, what is going on? Like, why am I snapping? Why am I getting all upset? Right? Yeah, and that is all part of this journey, right? Like when we decide that, okay, so you chose 365 days to get sober. Now, I don't know if you would would be considered an alcoholic. That doesn't seem like it seems like a long time because it's only a year, right? And you know, you have to give yourself grace and time and space to fall off the wagon, right? You it you can't just expect, yeah, in a year I'm gonna be completely sober and expect no, you know, forks in the road on the way there, right? You know, so that that's a long, that that's kind of a long time, but it also gives you an opportunity to sort of look at your whole entire life wheel, right? You're not looking just at being sober, you're also now looking at your health in general, right? Your fitness, your relationships, and how that alcohol is affecting every single, you know, uh pie of the wheel, so to speak.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Oh, a hundred percent. That's kind of getting back to like a part of you must die, right? Because when you live in a life in a certain way, for me it was alcohol. For other people, it's other things, but like everything revolves around that, right? Like I didn't go golfing to go golfing. I went to go golfing to drink and sit in the cart. And so I had to relearn how to go golfing and have fun with it and worried that I was never gonna have fun again. And um my goodness, that's a really good point, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:14

Like, how many times are we going to an event, not because of the event itself or for the people, but for what our secondary gain, right? Like, what are we really gaining by going?

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Yeah. Even like going out for supper, right? It's like, okay, are we excited to go out for supper and have good conversation, or are we excited because you know, I've been eating salads all week and now I can have like the the wings and the fries, and and you know, so we're putting so much in those, yeah, like the secondary gains, like the instant gratification, um, the things that can become addicting that um Yeah, that's so that is such a great I go to restaurants for dessert.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

When I go out, like honestly, when I go to a restaurant, I mean, obviously I'm you know getting better at that because now I know I don't need the dessert, but when I go to like an event, like a wedding or some kind of a big event where I'm having a full meal, I want the dessert. I actually look forward to the dessert. I don't have a lot of dessert at home, right? And so when I do go out, I'm I look forward to it. Of course, as I get older, I realize that you know, you really don't need the dessert and you actually can enjoy the meal without the dessert. I I have learned that, right? But it's funny that you say it that way because that's how we get into the habit, right? That's how we start to, you know, crave those unnecessary things.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Yeah. Yeah. But I love what you said about like I don't keep very much at home. So when I go out, that's something that I allow myself to enjoy guilt free and as it should, right? But you're not, you know, like sitting at your desk at work counting down the minutes, being like, oh my gosh, I get to go home and have dessert right away. Right. No, yeah. You know, so it's having that balance. We want to be able to eat healthy 80% of the time, and that 20% of the time. When there's a birthday party or there's an event or we decide to go out for a date night, it's like, yes, I want to go out and I want to enjoy those things, but they're not leading my life. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

I mean, there was a time where they did lead my life, right? Like I was like purposely going out for coffee so that I could have the cookie or the whatever, right? And so, yeah, but then when you start to look at that and you go, wow, this has really become a, you know, my pants are not fitting. And you know, you start looking at why are my pants not fitting, right? And then you start looking, wow, I've really created a terrible habit there.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Right. And and again, peeling back those layers, like what's going on for you, right? Like, yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Like, why am I really wanting that? Yeah. So women, now we kind of touched on this earlier. We want everything to be like perfect, right? We want the perfect plan, the perfect timing, perfect motivation, which we know I know perfect motivation doesn't really exist, right? And but we want it all before we actually get started, right? Now, I would love to know how you help your clients and yourself sort of embrace that progress over perfection, right? I we've all heard that, right? Progress over perfection, perfection isn't real. So I'd love to know how you do embrace that. And also I want to know how you teach it to your clients.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Yeah, that's such a great question, Tina. And yeah, progress over perfection is something that I use very regularly. But it's like, what does that mean? And I think even for me, it was like this version of myself, right? Like this healthy, whatever that looks like for you. We feel like this version of ourselves is just gonna magically show up one day, right? Like one day we're gonna feel like doing it. One day we're just going to arrive, and that's gonna be the goal. And when that doesn't happen, then we start getting self-doubt and we start beating ourselves up and we're like, we're falling off the wagon, and we're like, it's not working, and we're jumping from diet to diet and trying all these different things. When really it's it's about becoming. So it's like, okay, future Leah, what does she, what does she want? She wants to be fit, she wants to be strong, she wants to have a healthy body so she can do things with her son and live a long, healthy life. So, what does that version of Leah do on a daily basis? What are those tiny little micro decisions that that Leah would make every single day that's going to sustain and or get her to where she wants to be? And so taking it like one little baby step at a time, right? Like, what can you do? I say this to my clients like, what is one thing that you are going to do today that's gonna bring you 1% closer to your bills or to your bills, to your goals? You know, forget trying to fix everything. I need to overhaul my diet, I need to clean out all my cupboards. That's like, no, like maybe today, like this week, I'm gonna, I'm going not gonna drink pop or something, right? Like I'm gonna stick to water and whatever. Like, what is that one little thing? Can you go for a 10-minute walk after dinner as a family? Can you, you know, instead of on your lunch break, instead of scrolling your phone, can you go do for a nice walk around the block? Like, what are just some small things that you can do to start implementing that don't feel like stress, right? Like thinking about going to the gym for an hour can feel stressful and overwhelming. And so you're just not gonna do it. But if you're like, oh, I can walk outside for five minutes on my lunch break, like that is something that you can do. And then you have a win under your belt now, right? So we always think like, oh, I need motivation, I need motivation. Motivation comes from momentum. And by to create momentum, it's just action, like just tiny little actions, and you'll start to feel better. You'll start getting your wins, you'll get those dopamine hits, you'll start reaping the effects of how good you feel after you come back for that walk. And so it's like positive reinforcement

Progress Over Perfection With Micro Steps

SPEAKER_01 25:45

to yourself that you're gonna want to keep doing over and over again rather than, oh my gosh, I need to change everything. This is so stressful, and then shutting down essentially, you kind of reverting back to what you're always doing.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Right. I love that. You know, it reminded me one time I had a coach tell me I was like working on trying to stop scrolling. I wanted to stop, like, put the phone down. Like put the damn phone down, right? And I, you know, my coach said to me, Tina, well, do you go for walks in the day? And I'm like, Do I look like I go for walks? You know, typical, right? And I was, and she said, Well, why don't you set yourself a goal that if you want to play on your phone, there's nothing wrong, because there's nothing wrong with playing on your phone. Like nobody's telling you that you're wrong. But if you're trying to make it a priority to do something other than playing on your phone, she said, Go for a walk to a park where there's a bench. Go, you know, walk to the bench, whether it's two minutes, three minutes, 20 minutes, wherever it is, when you get there, then you can sit down and play on your phone. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what a great idea. Because now I'm not only getting the walk-in and I'm on my phone less, but I'm also getting sunshine and fresh air. And, you know, by the time I would get to the bench, the first few days, I did sit and play on my phone, but I got bored of it very quickly because, you know, my brain now is working properly because I have the fresh air and I have the the sunshine, right? And I thought, wow, this is great. So the walking didn't become a habit, but putting the phone down did. Right. So that was my celebration, right? I don't play on my phone the way I used to. I wish the habit of walking would become more of a habit, but you know, obviously I need a little bit more momentum to be motivated, right? As you said, right? So I am still working on that, but I, you know, don't let me.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

Yeah, that's a great story and something that people can take away from. Yeah. Like, what is something that you like how can you tie something healthy into doing something that maybe isn't as healthy, right? The same thing for ice cream. Like we have an ice cream stand down the place from us. So instead of keeping ice cream in our freezer, if we want an ice cream, we're gonna walk to the ice cream stand, enjoy a little bit of ice cream, and then come home, knowing that there is an ice cream in my freezer and I'm gonna be eating it every single day until it's gone, right? Like just things like that.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, we send Mars on to Dairy Queen. Nice. Yeah, that's a secret I shouldn't tell, but especially during playoff season, like hockey playoff, right? We're like, okay, it's you know, second period's over, it's time for ice cream.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Now you have spoken about uh reconnecting yourself or reconnecting with yourself rather than fighting your body. So what does that look like in practical terms for women who have spent you know, years trapped in restrictive dieting, self-judgment, that whole binge restrict cycle, right? And we all know it, right? I mean, we've all we all have some kind of intro to the diet culture, right? So yeah, I that's what I want to know. How do you like look at that?

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's a great question. Um, so yeah, reconnecting with yourself versus being caught up in um, so when I think of when we think about the habits and behaviors that we have in life, a lot of them aren't our own, right? So we have been sort of programmed from the time that we were young. So were did you live in a family where food was scarce, right? Like did your family not have a lot of money. So now as an adult, um, you know, you're choosing to maybe you're overdoing it, right? Like when I moved out of my house, my parents didn't have a lot of money. And so I gained like the freshman 20 at 16 because it's like I'm gonna eat everything that I didn't have in the house and that I wasn't allowed to have, or whatever the case may be, right? So looking at how you were brought up, were you a you're gonna sit at the table until you finish your food kind of thing? We do not waste food. So are we like, you know, eating food even when we're not hungry because we don't want to waste it? So understanding our patterns from the past and how we grew up and like really reflecting on that. So starting by if we have this thought in our head, like like an all or nothing or like a restrict binge, like I can't have this, like asking yourself, like, where did this come from? Right. And and challenging your thoughts because your automatic thoughts are automatic. It doesn't mean that they're true. So, hey, I'm having this thought, like you need to finish this or it's a waste. Okay, stop, pause. Is that true? Do I need to finish this? If I don't, is it a waste? Right? Like, can I put it in a container and put it back in the fridge? Can I, you know, share it with somebody else? So, really, again, and that's really connecting to yourself and to your inner thoughts and what's coming up. So that's a great way to start. Um, and then like reframing like, what does this actually look like for you? Right. So, like for strict binge. So I am not allowed to have X, Y, Z. Carbs are bad. I can't have carbs. It's like, okay, like, is that true? Like, are carbs really going to be the end all be like, is something detrimental gonna happen to you if you have carbs? For those of you who are wondering, it's not carbs are not the enemy.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Eat the carbs, Eric, it's okay. Yeah, no, food is there to be eaten, right? Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Yeah, but it's like, okay, so I'm gonna have pasta for dinner, which is fine, but what is something that I can add onto my plate that's going to add more nutrients to my body? What is my protein source that I'm gonna have? What is my fruit and vegetable source that I'm gonna have, right? So starting with challenging your thoughts and not and not judging. That is the biggest thing is questioning yourself without judgment, questioning your thoughts, questioning your patterns, why am I doing this?

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Yeah, without beating yourself up over it and just discovering and not being like commentary, right? Like not adding, you know, you know, little comments like, yeah, you shouldn't have eaten that, but you did. So now you have to suffer. Like you don't you don't need to do that to yourself. You ate it, right? You ate it. Now you you know, you have to balance it out with something better now, right? If it was something that you feel you shouldn't have eaten. Uh one time I was told, um, there's no such thing as good foods and bad foods, right? If you want to eat it, eat it. But if you know, like if it's like, you know, high sugar, we nobody has to tell you that it's not good for you, right? So if you're gonna eat it, eat it, enjoy it because you're gonna eat it, right? Your body will do better with it if you're actually enjoying it, you know, and you know not judging yourself, right? And then the next time you eat, you just make sure that you have like the high protein or the you know, the more healthy foods rather than you know, just keep eating with the sugar, because that that's what sugar does, right? The more we eat, the more we want to eat. So you you knowing that we you need to balance it out, right? I mean, that's I would think that that's pretty straightforward.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Yeah, and believe it or not, Tina, like that whole eating, um, you know, eating sugar, you want to eat it more. It's so funny. Uh having these conversations

Reconnecting With Body Beyond Diet Culture

SPEAKER_01 32:50

with my clients because one of the things that we do is when they start with me, is you have a fruit and vegetable goal. So it's a way to get more fiber, it's a way to get more vitamins into your diet, your digestion is better, like it's it just makes you feel better overall. And so, um, you know, having a plant at every meal is kind of a staple. So if it grows a fruit, vegetable, potato, whether it grows in the ground, like it's all fair game. And so um, so I have like a client who's, you know, a couple months in and she goes, like she's eating like a lot of fruits and vegetables, and she goes away on a trip and she comes back and she's like, Leah, like I did not have access to my fruit and vegetables. She's like, I am actually craving. I actually miss eating those fruits and vegetables. So when you can get into a habit that's long enough where your body starts to realize, oh, hey, this is the food that I'm supposed to be eating. This actually makes me feel good that you will start to crave the foods that make your body feel good. So it sounds like foreign and that, hey, there's no way I'm gonna crave a vegetable, Leah, but I I bet if you try it that yeah, it happens. It happens.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

I've been eating out for a month, and yeah, I'm like, I want a fruit. I want right, like I want an apple, I want, you know, and then now of course nectarines are out. I'm like, oh, I can't wait. I have had like, I'm sure I've had eight this week already, right? Like they're just so good and they're so fresh. But again, like it's not like you can overeat with fruit, right? I mean, sure there's lots of sugar in it, right? Your body's gonna, you know, not want all of it, but you can it's gonna do what it needs to do, and then the rest is like everything else. But if you eat nothing but crap, right, your body can only do so much with the crappy foods.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Right. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

So now I know that you often encourage women to remember their why. And we did talk about that a little bit earlier. For someone listening today who knows they need to make changes but feel maybe a little afraid. What's one small courageous step that they could take that they could move that? I know you kind of mentioned it already, but like what's one thing that they could do that would bring them that 1% closer?

SPEAKER_01 34:57

Yeah, I think it just depends on the person, really, on what that looks like for you and what your goal is. And you know, like one of an exercise you can do is your why, because that is can be the most motivating thing. So an exercise that you can do is just grab a journal and it's called like the seven layers of why. So you're gonna write down like what your goal is. So, for example, my goal is to lose 15 pounds. Okay, perfect. So then you're gonna ask yourself, like, why is losing 15 pounds so important to you? And you're gonna write it down. And so, you know, I want to feel better in my clothes. Okay, why is feeling better in your clothes so important to you? Because I want to be confident in my workplace and show up fully. Okay, why is being confident in your workplace and showing up fully so important to you? It's like so I can get paid for my worth, right? And so, like you're kind of going down this staircase, and what you get to is because we can feel like sometimes a weight loss journey or a health journey can feel vain, right? Like, I shouldn't care what the numbers on the scale, you know, I if I just want to lose weight, like that, we can get down on ourselves about our reasons. But when you peel back the layers, it's so much more than that. So, like if the woman who wants to lose weight to show up better at her work, to be paid what her she's worth so she can put her kids through college so they can have the life that she didn't have. Like you're going from I want to lose 15 pounds to I want to give my kids the life that I didn't have when I was younger.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

Right, right. And sometimes, you know, we might know it, right? We might know it before we ask the question, but we we don't know that that's the real why, right? Right. Because lose, especially losing weight, right? I like I know myself, I I've had family and friends tell me like my entire life you should lose weight, right? And part of me is like, yeah, I know, right? You don't need to tell me, I know that. But then part of me is like, I'm not gonna lose weight for you, right? If you don't like the way I look, sorry, right? But you know, the truth is I need to lose weight for me, right? And and me, it's I mean, yeah, what I want to look like, you know, I want to look like the, you know, a size two, right? I would love that, but it's also not realistic for me, right? And I need to accept that, right? Can I ever be the size two that I want to be, right? And of course, I mean, I've been on this earth long enough now that I've tried many different diets, right? And so, you know, eventually, and this is what diet culture does, right? There, there's they set you up to fail. And so the more we fail, the more trust we lose in ourselves, right? And so then we're like, well, I can't lose weight, I can't do this, I can't do that, right? And you know, and then our why changes, right? Why should I lose weight? Like I'm not gonna, I'm not going to. And if I do, I'm just gonna put it back on, right? And so the diet culture is what messes us up. And so I think your the basis of what you teach women is more about, you know, why do you need, why do you want to feel better in your body? What what can your body provide you so that it's not about, you know, what the rest of the world wants from you? Right. Exactly.

Seven Layers Of Why Journaling

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Yeah. And that's what's gonna get you out of the bed in the in the morning. And that's what's gonna help you keep going, is that is that really deep meaning. Like really it comes down to like the meaning of your life, the like what your purpose is, like what you're really trying to accomplish. And if you don't know the answers to those questions, then like start with this exercise because that is the place that we need to start, is when you have that clarity. And yeah, I loved what you talked about with diets, is absolutely they set you up to fail. Like you have to buy our product, or you're not gonna see success. Well, you buy the product, you see success as soon as you stop, then you lose your progress, right? Maybe you gave it back, maybe you gain back that plus some, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:47

And which in most cases is the case, right? Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

And then when you hate yourself, you hate the way you look no matter what.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that's that whole that we're coming in full circle now, right? That's that coming back to yourself, loving yourself again, and getting deeply rooted into what's best for you, not what's best for them, not what you should, would, could, you know, get rid of all of those. Like, what's important for you? And once you get that clarity and start to, you know, we know what healthy food is. We do, right? We know that, you know, vegetables are good for us, we know that fruit's good for us, we know that we need to protein and meat and you know, like potatoes and stuff, like meat and potatoes, like we're meat and potatoes people. Like, I don't know if that's for where you are, Tina, but for where we are, that's that's what we eat. And yeah, and that's great. So it's it's just kind of getting in front of um what's sabotaging us and why is it sabotaging us, right? Like, why do we keep going this way and and not going this way and just getting real with ourselves and being honest with ourselves. And something that's really cool about this um journaling exercise about finding your deeper why is that write it out like pen to paper, don't type it, don't think about it, write it. Because as you're writing, your subconscious is gonna start bringing things forward. Yes. Your conscious mind is uh will either like block, right? So do it quick, don't second guess yourself. Your your conscious brain's gonna try to tell you this is silly. Like just keep writing and the truth will come forth and you will, you may be surprised about what comes forward. And again, just keep your mind open, just be curious and like just take that time to connect with yourself and what your what your needs truly are.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

Yeah, I love that you brought that up. So, one thing that I always tell my clients is before we start like any kind of goal setting session, you know, sit in your chair and be present. So you need to notice what's around you, like you need to see things and feel things and hear things and make sure that your body is truly present. And then, like you said, the unconscious will come up and that's who will answer the question, right? It's not it's not the logical brain, it's not the emotional brain, it's your unconscious that you need to answer these questions with. And then your like your unconscious will support you in in the goals that you set.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

100%. Like we have such an inner knowing, and there's so much wisdom within each and every one of us. And I love what you said about that. Just give it give it, give your inner wisdom that space. Yeah, you know, ground, take a breath, be present, and just let it come forth because the answers are you trust it, yes, trust it.

SPEAKER_02 41:28

Yes, yeah, like I know myself, I struggled with that for years. You know, I would get this like message and I'd be like, I don't know where the hell that's coming from, right? And I would like totally push it aside. But what I've learned now in the last few years is that message actually means something, right? So listen to it, trust it. Yeah, it might not be what you want to hear. That's where people get a little bit, you know, I don't know, right? But but if you listen to it, it will guide you where you need to go.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Yeah, and I still struggle with that, Tina. I think that's like an ongoing journey to me too.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

Like I think, I mean, I sound like I'm a pro, but believe me, I am not a pro. You know, but I know, like I know how it works. And so, you know, my job is to guide myself and to allow myself to be guided, right? And and that's where the key is, right? If we just allow ourselves to let it happen and let it be, right, we would probably even surprise ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Right. And and and going from, you know, being hard on ourselves, it should be this way, we should be doing this, but just kind of opening up our hearts and opening up our minds to, okay, show me, like, show me signs, right? Like your universe, your God, whatever it is, the higher power that you believe in, like, trust that things or opportunities are gonna be placed before you. And all you have to do is just be ready for them and like be present. And like once you set your attention to doing something, and like I'm gonna be open to receive, like, things will be put in your path that you could never even dream of. You'll have guides, you'll have mentors, you'll have tools. Something will show up on social media that will be like, yes, this is exactly

Key Takeaways And How To Continue

SPEAKER_01 43:05

what I need. Like, so just like having that open mind and heart to guide you.

SPEAKER_02 43:10

Yes, thank thank you so much today for joining me, sharing your story. I mean, obviously, you've reminded all of us that courage isn't about having no fear, right? But it's choosing to move forward regardless of the fear. Yeah, I love it. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Yeah, you're so welcome. Thanks so much for having me, Tina.

SPEAKER_02 43:31

Of course. One of the biggest takeaways from today's conversation is that there is never a perfect time to change. The fear may not disappear, but neither does that inner voice calling us towards something better. Whether you're working on your health, your relationships, your confidence, or your next chapter, remember that progress happens one small step at a time. If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love to invite you to continue the journey. Through my coaching and in full bloom, I help women reconnect with themselves, build self-trust, and create long-lasting confidence from the inside out. You can find all the details in the show notes. Until next time, remember, confidence doesn't bloom overnight, but every courageous step you take helps it grow. Thanks for listening to Confidence in Bloom.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Thanks for listening. This show was brought to you by Divas That Care. Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divashatcare.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.