Fear To Forward

Come and listen to our Host, Tina Spoletini, as she chats with inspiring guest Lisa Andria for our "Victory Over Fear" Podcast Mini-Series.

This powerful series explores what it truly means to move forward despite uncertainty, self-doubt, and life's challenges. Through authentic conversations, personal stories, and practical wisdom, we uncover how courage is built one step at a time. Fear may be loud, but it doesn't have to have the final say.

Together, we'll discover how healing, faith, resilience, and action can help us overcome the barriers that keep us stuck. Whether you're facing a major life transition, stepping into a new opportunity, or simply learning to trust yourself again, these conversations will encourage you to embrace bravery and move confidently toward your purpose.

Join us as we celebrate the strength found in vulnerability, the growth that comes from taking risks, and the victories that happen when we choose courage over fear.

Lisa Andria is an Emotional Transformation Coach, founder of Ladies Who Leap Coaching and podcast host of the popular Ladies Who Leap podcast.  She helps women over 40 build —for the first time — the identity they never embraced.

Using The Identity Bloom Method— a four-stage identity construction system — Lisa produces a transformation so complete that clients’ lives restructure around who they’ve become. 

A signature part of her program goes into the unconscious mind to a level where the Identity Void actually lives and clears old programming, constructs the client's genuine self and then, through their new reality, grounds this leap on a permanent basis so they can move ahead confidently.

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Fear does not disappear when we reinvent ourselves, but we can stop letting it drive the bus. With emotional transformation coach Lisa Andrea, we connect unconscious patterns, identity voids, and self-love to the real-world courage it takes to be seen and move forward.
• confidence as something we grow and rebuild over time
• unconscious mind as the driver behind triggers, reactions, and habits
• releasing stored events and reframing beliefs to change behaviour
• Identity Bloom Method stages and why awareness comes first
• self-love as the common root issue and why it must be felt
• fear versus anxiety and how both can guide smarter action
• identity voids like shapeshifter, people pleaser, mirror gazer, high achiever
• learning to enjoy being alone through acceptance and reduced judgment
• courage as pushing the comfort-zone boundary step by step
• why support matters and how coaching accelerates change

For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com

Transcript

Welcome And What We Are Tackling

SPEAKER_00 0:00

It's Divas that Care Radio. Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change. Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone. This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations. To find out more about the movement, visit divasletcare.com after the show. Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Welcome back to Confidence in Bloom, the podcast for women on the edge of reinvention, ready to step into who they always were meant to be. Today's conversation is one I know you will that will land deeply. Because we're talking about something every woman faces at some point. Fear. The kind that whispers, who do you think you are? Right when you're ready to grow. I'm joined today by Lisa Andrea, emotional transformation coach, founder of Ladies Who Leap Coaching, and the host of Ladies Who Leap Podcast. Lisa helps she helps women that are over 40 build, often for the very first time, the identity they never fully embraced. Through her identity bloom method, she guides women through a powerful four-stage process that doesn't just shift mindset, it restructures their entire life from the inside out. A big part of her work goes deep into the unconscious mind, where old programming lives, clearing what no longer serves, and helping her clients construct a grounded, authentic identity they can actually live from confidently and consistently. This is more about overcoming fear. It's about becoming the woman who no longer lets fear lead. So let's dive in. Welcome, Lisa. I'm so excited for today.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

I am too. Thank you, Christine. I love the name of your podcast too, confidence in Bloom. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Well, you know, I think the purpose of that, I mean, we're talking, I picked that name like, oh my gosh, years ago. We're talking maybe it's been five years, I'm sure, six years now. And to me, like confidence is not something you are given or born with, right? Like it's something that we work for, right? And it like a flower that blooms, right? It we start off as a seed. And you know, as we grow and as we experience life and and all the things with it, that's where our confidence and it grows and it, you know, it what's the word I'm looking for? Kind of disappears at some point in our life, right? So like a flower, right? You give it water and it blooms and you take the water away and it kind of shrivels up. And so it's, you know, that's how confidence fits with me, at least, anyway, right? I know that, you know, some people would be like, oh, that's silly. And you know, we're all, you know, allowed to have our own opinion. But to me, that's what confidence means.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Yeah, and and our whole unconscious mind, how we grow, is listening to these metaphors and using these metaphors to better understand. That's even how our unconscious mind learns is through metaphors. So you're doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Yeah. And I, you know, unconscious mind, you know, it's funny. I've had in the last few days so many conversations about that. And I love that you brought that up because, you know, we are often trained to not listen to our unconscious mind, right? Like we're we're we have to we're supposed to be logical, right? And so the conscious mind is the logic behind us. And I think

Confidence As A Practice

SPEAKER_01 3:40

more people are getting more aware of that. I don't know how you feel about that, but I feel like, you know, more people are getting more in touch with their unconscious mind.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

So a lot a good part of what the work that I do with women is that I tap into their unconscious mind and actually clear and work through reframing their thoughts, taking events that have been stored in your unconscious mind and releasing them so that they no longer hold the control over you because your unconscious mind processes. Now I've heard 11 million bits per second recently. I knew it as 2 million bits per second, whereas your conscious mind is 126 bits. So who's making the decisions? Where is your behavior coming from? Where is your reaction to things coming from? It's coming from your unconscious mind. Yeah. We don't necessarily know what's in there, but when I work with someone, I actually tell them in at certain points of what I'm working with, I tell them to put their conscious mind on vacation. Uh-huh. That's a really good one. And listen to the first instinct, the first thought that comes to mind, that's your unconscious mind because it stores everything. It's like the world's biggest file cabinet stored in your unconscious mind. And it carries with you through, whether you believe it or not, through lifetimes, through ancestral, all the way through your ancestors. It's carried through beliefs, events, traumas, everything is carried through. So your unconscious mind is basically in control, whether you're aware of it or not.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Yeah, I see. This is why I knew I was gonna love this conversation. I knew it was gonna start right away. So our unconscious mind holds everything, right? But the conscious mind is what we rely on.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Well, whether you bel whether you rely on it or not, it is completely affected by what is stored in your unconscious mind. So when you um have a reaction and you call it a trigger, right? I had a client that I work with before I did what I call it's a mental and emotional release release breakthrough session. She said that when emergency vehicles would go by, she would start uncontrollable crying. She would pull over and she would just be bawling. She'd just be crying. And she thought, well, I'm empath. I feel it more, you know, I just

Unconscious Mind And Triggers

SPEAKER_02 6:05

have to live with it. That's who I am. Once we did the clearing of everything in her trauma, everything in her past, we got to the root cause of her issues, and that was released. She goes, Yeah. A couple days later, I drove down and I saw the emergency vehicle and I just pulled over. I didn't cry. I felt sadness for the person, but I didn't cry. That's what happens when you've released that file cabinet thing, that event that's been stored in there. Because in your past life, generational stuff, before you're seven years old, something happened that made you make a decision that a belief, a decision that became a belief, and you stored it in your own conscious mind. So now, whenever something comes up that's related to it, you have it as a trigger. And emotions pop up and things happen, you're like, I can't control it. Why can't I control this? Because it's in your own conscious mind.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Right. So I'm curious to know how the you know, your coaching session with this client started. Did she come to you and say, I want to stop the crying when an emergency vehicle goes by? That came up in conversation, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Because when you actually know it didn't in until after. But um, my particular identity bloom method with that I use is kind of a four-part process. And the first step is awaken. So it's really raising your awareness of where you want to go, what the struggles are, what is your purpose, how would you like to live your life, what do you manifest? What is it that you want to manifest? Who do you want to be? And then I go through a being profile assessment tool that comes out of Australia and it gives you healthy or unhealthy scores on 31 aspects of being. So it's really your inner mind. It's almost like an x-ray of your inner mind, and it opens up where the issues could lie, where are your shadow areas? And then comes the time when we do unburden, which is the next step, which is releasing the trauma, the events, and your greater problem. And that can take about six to eight hours. So it's a long process.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Yeah. And I found that about 95% of my clients, people that I've done uh the breakthrough sessions with, their greater problem is that they don't love themselves.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

That's what it comes down to. And I was so ashamed because when I went through the training, they had us doing it on each other. And when my unconscious mind, I heard it say, I don't love myself. I was so ashamed. I thought, who doesn't love themselves? How terrible not to love yourself. And I whispered it to her. I said, I don't love myself. So I was so embarrassed. And I started crying. It was, I realized, oh my gosh, I've been holding on to all of this because I truly didn't love who I was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

There's a difference between saying I love myself and feeling I love myself.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

And I always add unconditionally. Because you can love yourself today because you did something really great. And then tomorrow you do something else and you put the judgment on yourself and you say, Well, I don't really like myself today. And so it is a true journey of loving yourself no matter what you do. Mistakes, mishaps, something you said that you didn't like, whatever. Unconditional. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

And the conscious mind is what creates that, right? Because we we get all these judgments from other people from outside. We bring them inside, right? And so once we absorb them, right, and we truly believe them, the unconscious mind is like, you know, you know what you're doing to yourself.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Yeah, whatever you believe and whatever you think about comes about. And I know people have heard this in different ways. I think there's different ways to say it, but it is true because your unconscious mind, one of the prime directives of it, is to protect you. So if there is a piece of trauma, if there's something that's happened in your life, which I shouldn't even say the word if, everybody has this experience in their lifetime. If when that happens and it puts that idea in your head and you continuously go on a loop, I'm not worthy, I nobody wants to hear me, I um I fear travel or I fear going, I can't be in relationships. I don't love myself. All those negative thoughts, whatever it is that keeps going on in your head, the more you think about it, the more it's going to be proven to you. Well, relationships, no, you're people are not going to love you the way you should be loved because you don't love yourself that way. And it's going to keep perpetuating because that's the job of the unconscious mind, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Yeah. And the unconscious mind actually looks for those confirmations, right? The conscious mind tells it what to look for because this is what's what happens, right? When you, you know, people don't love you because you you talk too loud, right? That and that and that's simple, right? I mean, how many kids in school were told, you know, she she's disrupts the school, she disrupts the class, she's she's very loud, right? And so you get told that, you know, it gets brought home. Your parents tell you, like, you talk too much at school, so remember to keep it down, right? And then the the unconscious mind is going, see, it happened again. It's gotta be true. So you have to not talk, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Your words are not worthy, you are not worthy of being seen or heard, and then guess what? You start judging yourself, and then you know it's gonna perpetuate where you actually welcome people into your life that don't like that part of you or that are judging

Identity Bloom Method Explained

SPEAKER_02 11:55

you for that, and it just keeps happening because you attract that, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:59

You're attracting those people that won't like you for who you are, right? That's why I love this stuff, Lisa. This is so amazing, right? Because we don't like understanding why we do what we do is such a key point in our, you know, in our growth, right? Because sometimes, well, that's just the way I am, that's who I am, right? Now, if you're okay with that, that's fine. You don't, you know, no one's telling you you have to be different, but if you don't understand why you are why you like the way you are, you'll never change it.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

Well, and and it goes back to understanding why you do and have this certain behavior, and also remembering you are a unique human soul. You are someone who is worthy of all love and all attention and being heard and being seen. And if you have some quirks or things, guess what? Not everybody's gonna like you. And you know what? It's okay. Everyone doesn't need to like you. Boy, it took me almost 60 years to figure that one out.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Because I was what I call uh a shape shifter. So I have these identity voids that I call because uh women usually go through life not having their own identity, not knowing what it is, and they are what they should be. I'm the right mom, I'm the good mom, I'm the good executive, I'm the good student, I'm the good, you know, what wife, uh partner, uh parent, whatever it is, but they don't have or don't even know what their own identity is. Yeah. Because we're all unique. We all have our unique identity. And guess what? Not everybody's gonna like us. Hey, you may be the person who talks a lot or talks really loud.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

So what? Yeah, so what exactly? So what? The people that don't mind the loudness and the talking, they're gonna be around you.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yeah, and they're gonna understand that you are much more than just that. Exactly. When you talk, you are really coming from the heart and you really care for people. I mean, there are all different kinds of attributes that are positive, and so that one thing that maybe bothers somebody else, okay. So it bothers them. So that person shouldn't be in your sphere.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so awesome. Now, our theme for this season is um victory over fear. And so I'm I'm curious to know, um, especially with working with you know, identity and and I guess it's like I think that's your key, right? Is identity and uh how women see themselves. Fear is super loud, right? Like, but there is more to right, there's more to fear than we believe, right, in general. Uh, what what do you think that is? And

The Hidden Root Of Self Love

SPEAKER_01 14:50

how do you think women can sort of start to hear that little voice a little more clearly?

SPEAKER_02 14:57

So think of fear as the way to identify danger. It's it's the way to identify when something needs your attention. Because fear, and there's two, there's fear and anxiety, right? So fear is actually having experienced something and now you fear it because when you first experienced it, it was something that wasn't so much fun. So the next time you do it, you're fearful of it. Anxiety is actually based on something that never has you've never done before. It could be based on even not even reality, but you have an anxiety over it. So, fear is actually how are you being when you're in fear? Do you freeze? Or do you assess whatever the danger or the situation is and still be able to progress forward and take steps forward? So, fear is actually not a bad thing. I mean, think about it with cavemen and stuff, right? When they felt fear or they sensed fear, they knew that there was something that was coming to get them, or that they needed to do something about it. It's it's it's always going to be present. Fear is, in other words, uh, fear is uh, let's say, courage is not the absence of fear, right? It is the fact that you feel it, you are in it, and you understand that there's danger around and that you have to assess the situation and actually move forward and progress. So it's not a bad thing to feel fear. It's when the fear becomes so overwhelming that you just cannot move. You're frozen. You can't progress, you can't even think about moving forward. And fear is actually one of the negative emotions that's in my um mental and emotional breakthrough session. It's in there, right in about the third one in, so that you can release that fear that's uncontrollable fear, the fear that's actually freezing you. Because we're all gonna feel fear and it's not a bad thing. Yeah, because even courage and fear go hand in hand, right? Right? It allows us to step forward despite the presence of fear.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Right, right. And it is kind of like that confidence, right? I mean, most of us are afraid because we don't have the confidence, right? And so, you know, if you push yourself forward, even with the fear, that confidence bloom will happen, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

Well, I always say confidence is knowing that nothing you do will ruin everything, while doing nothing will ruin your confidence.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Uh, see, there you go. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So you we talked a little bit about like identity, and you talk about the identity void. Can you explain maybe what that is and how it connects to the fears that women feel about being seen, heard, or judged?

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Yeah, I have it broken down into seven. I'll just give you a couple of ideas. One of the ones that I identified with for many years was the shapeshifter. So it was about when you're around other people or meet a new friend, or you literally shape shift yourself to be the person that they would like to be around. So that's the fear of people aren't gonna like me if I'm myself. Right? You're not, I had issues with vulnerability, authenticity. That is a shapeshifter. That's an identity void. You're void of the identity that you really are worthy of from birth, and I wasn't, I wasn't having anything to do with it. There's the people pleaser. We all know what that is, right? Again, you're actually looking to please others more than you're looking to please yourself. So if you don't know what your true identity is, who what do you who are you? What do you want in life? What do you like to do? All of these things to identify who you are, then there's no way that you can go through life just thinking about other people and not thinking about yourself. You just cannot go through life actually being who you're supposed to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

With confidence, yeah. Yeah, it brings me to this thought. So I know a few women, you know, I don't obviously I'm not gonna name their names, but they

Fear Versus Anxiety In Real Life

SPEAKER_01 19:10

all my life that I, you know, have known them, they are like almost a different person with every group that I see them in, right? And so now I know, like I, you know, as I got older, I would look at them and go, she doesn't even know who she is, let alone who the people around her are. You know, like when she's with these people, she wants to be dressed this way, she acts this way, like she's different than when she's with this group, right? Where she's, you know, more sometimes she's more quiet, sometimes she's really loud and vulgar. So I I wonder going through it myself, you know, like there was a time where I was like, like, who am I? What what am I here for? What is my purpose? What who am I supposed to be, right? I know that that's not me. I know that's not me. I don't like I that I don't put myself in that situation that I just explained of the you know being a different person. I mean, sure there's people where I might talk less with because they don't want to hear what I have to say, but I'm not different. Like I if I do have the opportunity to talk, I still say my piece the way I would with anybody else, right? But women like that, do they go through that season of, you know, I don't know who I am? Because I I feel like every woman I know has gone through that. How like is it must be super hard for these women to hear what you're telling them, right? All these different kinds of people, where do you fit? Right. I did your quiz. We will talk about that. I did your quiz, and you know, I had to answer a lot of the questions on my past, more so than right now, but I've done a lot of this work.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Yeah. So think about it this way: that the woman that you're speaking of, it could be that outwardly she is friendly and extrovert and is always, like you said, kind of changing where she's around. Who is she when she's alone? Who is that person? Does she enjoy being by herself? Does she know who she truly is when there's no one else around? So that's that's one of the identity voids in there. I can't recall what the name of it is, actually, right now for some reason. But it is the person, what who are they when they're by themselves? And do they enjoy being by themselves? I had a client that did not enjoy being by themselves. They felt the sense of loneliness. When we talked about it from a reality, because a lot of how we feel and what we think, it's not based on reality. It's a distorted idea of what reality is. So a lot of the work that I do is really looking at what is the real, what is the reality of your emotions?

unknown 21:56

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Because what you're thinking kind of doesn't make sense. If You look at the reality of it. And that's the same thing. She was afraid to be alone. Well, it came down to basically society. How are people going to view her? Oh, she's by herself at a at a restaurant. You know, that means she's a she doesn't have anybody with her. She doesn't feel love. She has, I mean, there's so many things that went through her head. And after the work that we did, she was bragging about going away for the weekend all by herself and having a fabulous time, going to dinner and going to a play and just enjoying spending time with herself.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

With herself. So I remember when I went through my who am I phase and I did a lot of you know reading, you know, self-development, and that's kind of where we usually start. And so I was, I remember reading at one point where you need to learn how to enjoy being alone because the one person that you spend the most time with in your entire life is yourself. Right. Now, what I don't really understand, and I get that, you know, I got to the point where I'm okay to be alone. Like, you know, whether there's people around me, some some days I'd rather be alone than with anybody else. Right. I mean, I think we all have days like that, right? But at the same time, what I've never really figured out, and I'm sure I have it, like I know it, I just don't know how to put words to it. What is it that we're looking for when we're being alone? Right? What do we need to enjoy?

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Well, you need to have acceptance of yourself. You need to understand and and and realize that you love yourself so much that you can sit with yourself and do whatever it is that you want and actually enjoy your own company. It's acceptance of yourself, it's no judgment, and it's releasing all of those negative connotations about being alone. It's not loneliness, but that's what you can feel because in your past or whatever stored in your unconscious mind, and society has put in the idea that a woman who's alone is a bad thing. If she doesn't have children, if she doesn't have a husband, if she doesn't have a partner, you know, whatever it is, it's it's got a bad connotation. So when you're sitting there alone, all you're thinking about, oh my God, what am I missing out on? Who didn't invite me somewhere? Why didn't I get the call to go to this thing? Why are some friends of mine out and they didn't invite me? I mean, all these thoughts are going through your head, right? And and I know people are going, ah uh, that sounds familiar, you know.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

And so if my gosh, yes, I I got, I mean, I knew like I the word acceptance wasn't a word I would have used, but I knew that it was something along the lines of the conversation you have in your own head, because we all have the self-talk, right? It has to be conversation that you want to hear, right? If if you're always worrying about what everybody else is doing, you're not you're not enjoying the thoughts that come to your mind.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

You're not enjoying yourself, you're not truly loving yourself, right? And trusting yourself and understanding, hey, if you didn't get invited somewhere, guess what? The universe said that's not where you were supposed to be. You were supposed to be at home, you're watching a fun movie, you're making a great dinner for yourself, you're hanging out with your dog like I have over here. Whatever it is, that's what you were meant to do. Right. It doesn't matter if someone didn't invite you somewhere. They have their own reasons, whatever that is. It doesn't matter. It matters that you love yourself and that you go through life with everything that goes along with loving yourself, which is a lot. I mean, it took me a long time to realize that that I truly did not, and I did I had no identity, I didn't know who I was because I was trying to be everything that I was supposed to be, like the shoulds, right? I had all those shoulds layered up. And I thought if I do everything that is telling me this is what I should do, then I'm gonna have the friends, then I'm gonna have the success, then I'm gonna have the money. And really it comes from inside you. The way you feel about yourself is what projects and comes to you. And they always talk about the art, what is that? The um, the secret, right? The art of manifesting, the art of the attraction, right? The the um that type of thing. If you love yourself, when you love yourself, you're gonna be attracting. The universe goes, okay, she won't loves herself, she wants everything that comes to her to treat her with respect, to love her the same way. And literally the love resonance vibration will bring you everything that you want in your life. Yeah, it's really interesting. It actually works, it really is interesting.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

And I don't, I don't even know what got me interested in all this kind of stuff, but I just love it. Like I love it, and I love hearing like how you know, I mean, every coach has their own unique way. Like you came up with the identity bloom method, I think. Yeah, identity bloom method, you know, and I have my shift and I'm working, I'm working with another lady, or actually we're taking a training course, and it hers is the Age method. Like, it's just amazing all the different things that we, you know, come up with on our own to make it unique, and yet, you know, we're we're doing the same thing, right?

SPEAKER_02 27:29

We're always we're doing the same thing, and and most likely each one of us has experienced it. I've gone

Identity Voids And Shape Shifting

SPEAKER_02 27:35

through this, I've gone through the this same work that's helped me. That's what coaches are about. We always have a coach, coach usually has coaches, probably more than one. And so we understand the importance of having someone on your side. I mean, look, your girlfriends can only last so long with you talking this issue and that issue and this, and then they're like, okay, I've had enough. Whereas a coach wants to you to talk. The whole idea is asking the right questions to open it you up and to caring for us as a coach, caring about you growing and sometimes being very uncomfortable because that's when the growth really comes through, and being there to hold your hand so that you can go through that journey. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

I just love it. I love I love all of this. Okay, so we're gonna get back to the podcast here. Courage, okay. We talked a little bit about courage, and it's not really the absence of fear, and I think that's how you said it, right? Courage isn't necessarily the absence of fear. Um so tell me again what you think uh courage really looks like in real life.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

So, like I said, courage and fear go hand in hand, actually. Um, it allows you to step forward even during the presence of fear, and it takes fear to know when you need to be courageous. So think about that. Fear is actually a friend. If you didn't have the fear, the danger, the obstacle to overcome that you feel about the fear, how would you know when to be create courageous? How would you know when you need to take everything in your gut and all of your mind and your whole body and move into and do something that really is uncomfortable for you? And then the next thing to understand is I always say, you know, they say stepping out of your comfort zone is where the um, I don't even know the original, where the miracles happen. Is that what they say? I say stepping out of your comfort zone is where the growth happens. So when in those times when you're being create courageous to be able to grow and personal growth and development, then guess what? It's the best time is when you have to be courageous because you're feeling fear, because you're uncomfortable. And that's what gives you the great growth. That's how you break through. So it's your friend. Think of it as your friend, as a signal that you need to be courageous. And if you take that, heck, you can be courageous in anything because it's going to benefit you. If you think that cur being courageous is going to benefit you, you wouldn't be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Right, exactly. And I mean, we all know the lion from The Wizard of Oz, he had no courage, right? He was a chicken, but you know, if you watch the show, he had the courage. He just didn't have it where he wanted it, right?

SPEAKER_02 30:26

And his idea of courage was different than what true courage is, where it comes from the inside. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Right, exactly, exactly. And I wanted to, you know, make another statement about how you said stepping out of your comfort zone. I have come to believe that we don't want to step out of the comfort zone. We want to push the comfort zone boundary, right? So instead of it being the size of your house, let's say, because there's lots of people that don't want to leave their house, you know, we have to sort of push that boundary just a little bit, right? It might be walking to the end of your driveway, right? Or, you know, you know, slowly walking down to the end of the street where your mailbox is, right? Slowly, right? Because it doesn't, you can't just step out like over the line and everything is going to be perfect, right? There's always gonna be that boundary in front of you. So you have to push the boundary just a little bit further each time, right? That is where the courage and the confidence comes.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

Yeah, that's like we talk about where you take a step, right? And then you take the next step. So each step you're getting the courage to do, and then pretty soon you're walking up the steps and you're at the top of the mountain, and you're like, okay, what else can I do? You know, because once you start, you're like, well, this isn't as difficult as I thought.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

It's just because I was fearing the unknown. Right. So when you allow yourself to kind of get rid of the outcome and just enjoy the journey, you don't fear the outcome or the unknown as much. I have a little thing on me right now that says, embrace the unknown. Right. And that helps with courage too, is knowing that whatever happens is meant to happen. There is a higher power. There is a what if you believe in God, whatever you believe in as the higher power, it's there for you. For sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Right. And it's and it's it you have to be comfortable in that too. Like it doesn't just come, like you can't embrace something that you don't um open your arms to, I guess is a better way of seeing it. Like if you're not willing, you know, to to embrace something you don't know, it's not gonna happen, right?

SPEAKER_02 32:40

You can't just be uncomfortable, that's the first obstacle that you have to get over. Right. Is, you know, hey, go, you know, this is gonna be difficult. I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna, you know, really feel it in my body. But gosh, once you release it, I mean, what you carry around with you all your life is so heavy. I call it a bag of rocks. It's just heavy. And the breakthrough session that I do, like I said, it's a good 27 steps, six to eight hours. But once the each thing is released, it's like people, you know, they look different. I mean, I know I was like, oh my God, it was exhausting being that shape shifter. I was exhausted trying to make everybody like me when not everybody's gonna like me. It's just not gonna happen. Yeah. It was exhausting. And so think of courage as giving you the ability to take that first step to let go of the things that are holding you back.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

Oh, I love it. I just love it. Okay. Now we've had a few of your stories, but I want to know maybe another story where you can talk about a woman who's moved through through her fear and looked differently, right? She showed up completely different after her transformation. I, you know, I think it's important for women to know that it is possible for every single one of us, no matter what we've been through.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Yeah. So for whatever reason, I do coach coaches, and um, I've had a couple, including a man that I worked with. I do work with some men if it's a direct referral, or I meet the person and I know that he's ready, because a lot of men aren't necessarily ready and willing to go through these processes. But I've with this man and another woman, they were actually afraid and they had the fear of engaging with potential clients. So, and I know a lot of us as coaches, this could be any profession, you're afraid to make that cold call if you're in sales in any industry, right? And so the fear is so strong because again, where does it come from? Well, it's coming from some decision made in your past lives or you're before you were seven that said, I'm not worthy of success, I'm not worthy of people listening to me, I'm not worthy of my voice being heard, same thing. So after going through the breakthrough session, one of them was able, there were people even reaching out to that coach saying, I know you got into coaching and I think you can really help me. Let's talk, let's have coffee. And the person was like, I can't even do that. And afterwards, they were ready to do that. And that's how they started getting clients. And they felt like confidence, a confidence that came from releasing all of those negative feelings about themselves and actually getting to a place of self-love. So knowing that, hey, I could call this client, I could talk to this person, and if they don't want to use me, it's nothing bad on me. It doesn't mean I am a bad coach. It means that we're not a good fit, or that particular person isn't ready yet.

unknown 35:51

Right.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

And they can be not ready for a lot of the same reasons that I'm talking about right now, right? Not feeling like they're worthy of or deserve to move forward in life or to have those sales or have ideas about money that's blocking them. All those things. So afterwards,

Courage As Small Boundary Pushes

SPEAKER_02 36:10

yeah, these people were completely different, and and they were able to get clients. One of them worked and moved into a different type of field, but it also taught meant, you know, talking to people. And oh my God, they are flourishing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

I love it. I love, I love hearing that. So I have in one of my courses that I'm taking, uh, we did like a big breakthrough session. And um, when when I was, you know, a few, we had a couple weeks off, and then when we we came back, all the ladies in the class were like, oh my God, Tina, you're like a different person. You're talking different, like you look different. And I'm like, I look the same, right? Because it's the same person in front of the mirror. To me, I look the same, but they saw someone different. So when I hear your story, right, I mean, I I can relate in the sense I'm that other person, but I don't see it, right? Because we don't feel the change when it's happening, right?

SPEAKER_02 37:03

And and often it oh, I'm sorry to interrupt, but no, it's so funny because when I after I go through these breakthrough sessions, and then we're having sessions, you know, follow up and continue, but the person sometimes forgets that they went through the breakthrough session because life just went on and now it's just so much better. Yeah, and then you totally forget.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

And I have to remind them, remember, we had that breakthrough session, and that's and and sometimes you know, you you think back, you go, I can't believe I even made that decision. Where did that come from? Right exactly. And it's because you were you're in a different mindset right now, you've released all that stuff that made you make that decision back then, right? If you could, if we could go back in time, how many times have we said that? We would make a different decision, right? Because as we get older, we get wiser, yeah, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

I have other exercises with that too, even outside the breakthrough session, is looking at something that happened. How did you react to it? And if you had reacted in a different way, what would have been the different outcome? And that, if you do that with past things, as you do it more and more as you come to now your current life, you'll actually be in that experience and go, whoa, wait a minute. I'm not gonna take this action. I'm gonna take the one that I know has a better outcome. And so now you're kind of retraining also over, and that's more takes a little longer, but still it's reinforcing and retraining your unconscious mind. Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

And the more you you follow sort of that new path that you've created, the more stronger your unconscious is going to lead you in that direction. And remember, you look different.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

It's it's I mean, you do look different from to other people, but you're actually you're the words you're saying, the meaning behind it, the way your presence is, all of that changes. Yeah, you release that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Yeah, like you don't physically change, but your reactions change and your your actions change, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

Yeah, and what you say and how you interact in relationships, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

I love this. I just love this. Okay, so now you use the term leap, which I love, right?

SPEAKER_02 39:07

But what ladies who leap, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

Yeah, what does it practically look like for a woman uh to move anyway when when you're still present in that fear?

SPEAKER_02 39:19

Well, it can mean you might need help. I mean, and I want to stress because I have a podcast also called Ladies Who Leap, and one of the questions I always ask is who do you go to for support on those bad days or when you need help? Because a lot of women go, nope, I can handle this on my own. And so part of being able to leap not only is making the decision that nothing you do will ruin everything, which is from that quote, and understanding you can make mistakes and you're gonna learn from them. Because all these famous people that have all this success, you think they didn't make a lot of mistakes and do stupid things?

Transformation Stories That Prove Change

SPEAKER_02 39:55

Heck yeah. But they learned from it and they kept going. Just like kids when they start walking. Do they give up and go, well, I'm not gonna walk anymore because I fell? No, they keep going. So when you're taking that leap in life, and I do have something called leapwithconfidence.com. It's just uh three videos that you can listen and and watch at your leisure, but it gives you kind of the phases of being able to leap with confidence. And a good part of it is allowing yourself, and I as I call it to be contributed to, to be helped. Yeah, don't do it alone. Nobody, you don't have to do anything alone. There are so many people that can help you. Yeah, and and doing it alone is sometimes way more difficult than if you had somebody help you and had this first time.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. So I mean, I love that, right? And I love ladies who leap because that's what we're doing, right? We're not just walking into our future, we're we're leaping, we're we're taking big giant steps and little hops and all the, you know, and some of us are jumping. I mean, some of us make decisions that you know the rest of us look at and go, what is she thinking? Right, but but it works for her, right? And and that's kind of the thing, right? Like we have to do what works for us. Sometimes it's a little risky, right? But that's where the fear and the courage comes in, right? Yes, I'm afraid, but you know what? Screw it, I'm gonna do it anyway.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

Yeah, feeling the anxiety about it, but saying, okay, so that again, living with anxiety means you are looking at what risks there are and you're mitigating them. Oh, if I'm gonna do a speech and what if all the tech stuff goes down and my PowerPoint is disappearing? Okay, I have it on paper, I'm mitigating the risk, I can pass it out on paper, or I can do it another way, or I get there early and test it and make sure it works. So anxiety, just like fear, can actually work for you. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

Exactly, exactly. So tell us a little bit more about your quiz that you that I I completed the quiz, and I believe I forget, I want to say that my my uh response was something mirror, but I don't know that that's for sure. I can't remember for sure.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

Oh, the mirror gazer. Yeah, so the mirror gazer is the person who is constantly comparing herself to others, and so we know it's the person who yeah, and I don't know if that fits you.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

That doesn't feel like me.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

It doesn't feel like me, but so you're seeing what other people are doing as coaches, and you're like, oh, I maybe I should do that. Is that something that I need to take up? Because that person is doing it and they're successful, maybe, yeah, or it's working for her.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

Why isn't it working for me? I do a lot of that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's came up. So that's what that is, the mirror gazer. And there's other ones. There's the um uh high achiever with a hidden hole, it's called. And that's the person who on the outside, oh, they are super successful, they're making good money, they are really good at what they do, and you're like, wow, what a great, amazing woman that's doing that. She's really in her power. And then on her own, there's something missing. She's not actually satisfied with her life, and there's a hole. Ah yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:14

And how how many responses or how many like I don't I don't think it's answers, titles, maybe? How many are there in total?

SPEAKER_02 43:22

So there's seven identity voids that I've I've pulled. There are probably more, but I've broken it down to seven identity voids. And then there's the ecologist, the helper, the person who is always helping other people. They hold everything together. They're the mom that's there for their children, they're the partner that's there for their spouse, they're the person that holds everything, everybody goes to them to help them. But then when it comes to thinking about themselves, they haven't really done that.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

And they won't reach out for help when they need no one.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

And when there's no one to help, they feel empty. There's a void there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Yeah, I could see that being. I think when I got the res results, it was like

Leaping With Support And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 44:05

it gave you sort of a percentage of each one, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

And then when I respond in the email, it's more um, and I had a little trouble with that, so hopefully you got it. It gives you the highest score and what that means and how you could look at it.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

Ah, okay. So I didn't, and I of course I didn't read the whole thing because I wanted to like sit down and really study it, right? I wanted to know, is this really me? But I remember there being a few of them that had zeros, right? So I'll wonder if that's they just didn't apply to you. Yeah, yeah. So how do how do our listeners, you know, get in touch with the quiz and and get in touch with you?

SPEAKER_02 44:41

Well, it is something new. So we're gonna have the direct link because I don't have a very friendly URL for it yet, but it'll be the direct link in the description. And at some point I'm updating the website and putting the identity bloom method in there and putting this quiz in there. So a lot of things are gonna be happening. Um, I don't know when this is gonna air, but once it's there, it's there, and everybody can get to probably it'll be everything that will be accessed at ladiesholeap.com. So it's it's at least right in this moment when we're recording, not everything is in there, but it will be updated. That is my website, even the podcasts there, and uh lovely stories that about women that have taken leaps of faith in life and made their life more fulfilling and loving themselves through the process.

SPEAKER_01 45:29

I love it. Thank you so much for being here. I know that this has I know this is powerful for most women to hear. I mean, you know, it it's grounding, it's powerful, it's it's all of it. And I've I've loved it myself. I feel so full in my heart. Great. Um, and I'm hoping that, you know, many of the women listening will see themselves and what you've shared with us today. And more importantly, I hope that they will see what's possible for them. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

And and my whole purpose, I guess it's an overused word, but my whole purpose in life is to help other women get to the point where I've reached, and again, it's a daily thing. It's not, I'm not, nobody's perfect, nobody reaches that pinnacle of self-love and then it's over. No, it's a daily, daily journey. But I am dedicated to helping women get to this point much earlier in life than I did and didn't have to wait till your 60s to do it.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

Right. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

And I love to talk with them. I just want to help as many women as possible.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

I love that. Thank you so much. If you're listening today and something stirred in you, if you've been feeling that pull toward more, but fear has been keeping you in place, this is your reminder that you don't have to stay there. You don't have to figure it out all out on your own either. If you're ready to start building the confidence, clarity, and identity that actually reflects who you are now and who you're becoming, there's support available for you. You can reach out to me or to Lisa or connect through the links in the show notes. We genuinely love to support you in whatever the next step looks like for you. And as always, if this episode resonated, share it with a woman who might need to hear this today. Until next time, keep blooming into who you were always meant to be.

SPEAKER_00 47:28

Thanks for listening. This show was brought to you by Divas That Care. Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divas that care.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.