What If Your Next Chapter Starts With Play

Come and listen to our Host, Tina Spoletini, as she chats with today's guest, Connie Kobylko, for our “Determined, Not Distracted” Podcast Series.

This mini-series serves as your blueprint for a high-impact year, distilling success into three non-negotiables: Goal Clarity, Resilience, and Commitment. By sharpening your focus, hardening your mental toughness, and anchoring your habits in discipline, you’ll shift from chasing temporary inspiration to achieving unstoppable, year-long momentum. 

Connie Kobylko is a Joy Facilitator, Life Celebrant, published author and lover of life! She helps people reconnect with what lights them up, through her workshops and key-note talks. You will leave inspired as you pause, play, and celebrate the everyday moments that make life meaningful—reminding us that we are meant to "Live Your Dreams!"

Instagram: @Connie Kobylko 

Facebook: ConnieKobylkoConsulting

Facebook: Connie Kobylko

Linkedin: Connie Kobylko

Website: conniekobylko.com

We explore how to remember joy instead of chasing it, using vision without limits, daily rituals, and playful reframes to move from stuck to light. Connie shares the Joy Method, a seven-step practice that blends feelings, vision, and small actions, anchored by her own courageous recovery story.

• defining a joy facilitator and joy in motion
• reconnecting with the child self as a compass
• building vision walls, journals, and shared dreams
• turning shoulds into get-to’s and tiny celebrations
• five-senses gratitude practice for day and night
• the Joy Method: notice, name, honor, imagine, act, celebrate
• reframing contrast and using rituals to reset
• making goals real with dates, calls, and first steps

For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com

Transcript

Welcome & Mission Of The Show

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It's Divas That Care Radio. Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change. Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone. This is a global movement for women by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations. To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show. Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Welcome back to Confidence in Bloom, the podcast for women choosing to stay determined, not distracted, as they lead their lives with clarity, courage, and confidence. Today's guest is a true embodiment of Joy in Motion, Connie Kabilko. Connie is a joy facilitator, life celebrant, published author, and award-winning entrepreneur who helps people reconnect with what truly lights them up. Through her signature work, Ignite Your Light and her joy vision experiences, Connie gently guides people through life's transitions, helping them rediscover purpose, honor their story, and step into what's next with gratitude and intention. Connie reminds us that joy isn't something we chase, it's something we remember. And in a world full of noise and distraction, her work invites us to pause, play, and live our dreams on purpose. Oh, Connie, welcome to Confidence and Gloom. I'm so happy to have you here.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

It's so good to be here. Oh my goodness. Tina, I was counting sleeps.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

I love that. I love that because while we booked this quite a while back, right? Um, you know, and then it's like, you know, the time it seems like, oh, it's oh, so far away. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, it's the day. I'm so excited, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:52

That's exactly it. Like Christmas, counting sleeps at Christmas.

Defining A Joy Facilitator

SPEAKER_02 1:56

I love that feeling. Yeah. That's being a child at heart, right? It's like a child in a toy story. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so um, Connie, you describe yourself as a joy facilitator. I would like for you to tell me what that really means to you. Like, what does joy really mean to you? And how did how did you make this like your life's work?

SPEAKER_00 2:18

That's such a beautiful question. I thank you so much for that. A joy facilitator is not something that you see on a long list of jobs, right? Um, you don't see it. In fact, I've yet to see it, and I'm really excited about that because then that makes something that I do so unique. And yet, we do what I do every day, truth be told. So a joy facilitator, what is that? Who is that? I guide men and women, primarily women though, to connect back to that child inside of us, that little girl inside that um has lots of dreams and aspirations. I guide us as adults back to finding small moments every day that just make us feel good. And it could be something that just takes us out of a busy schedule. So, for instance, you know, when you're driving and you hear a song, sometimes that takes you back to maybe a moment in time, right? Um, or you remember just jamming out to that as a little girl, right? With your pretend microphone, whatever that might be. That really is joy. That's that's what I do is I guide us back to the heart of who we are, and we are joy. We came into this world a bundle of joy, and I think that we've just gotten a little disconnected from that. So I lead a variety of workshops, I write articles, I do a lot of public speaking on stages, connecting us back to finding our joy, and really and truly it is within us.

Childhood Joy As A Compass

SPEAKER_02 4:02

I love that. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you when you said the little girl holding her microphone, like you know, bringing it out on the microphone. I remember one time, and this was not very long ago, maybe five, six, seven years ago, someone asked me, Tina, who's where's the little girl inside you? And I was like, what? Right? Like, I was like, what are you talking about? And she said, Well, where's the little girl that used to have fun? And I was like, I don't know. Like she's gone, she's lost. And she said, you know, think back in a time where as a little girl you were doing something like, you know, putting on your Fisher Price record and you were singing away to, you know, Mary had a little lamb. And I was like, oh my God, that was a thousand years ago, right? Like that that's not fun to me anymore. But now, as you were saying that, it reminded me that it's not about being, you know, three or four years old anymore, or however old I was when I had that Fisher Price record. It was, it's more about letting go of all the stress and the weight on our shoulders, right? And just being able to be free with whatever's gonna come out.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Let's just have fun. We're too serious. And you know, I hold another role really dear to my heart, and that is being a life celebrant. And so I walk alongside families who have lost loved ones, and I hear the most incredible stories of people in their journey in life. But Tina, I also hear of the regrets of how people wanted to do something, but they wait for someday to happen. And a health journey may have been encountered and it diminished them, and now they're not here to experience that, right? Too often we put our dreams on a shelf. And so it my role as a joy facilitator is to bring us back to playing more, to having dreams. We've stopped dreaming, and so I just want to share with you and our audience. Um, when we were kids, do you remember the Sears Christmas wish book or the Canadian Tire catalogs? Or for those that are, you know, a little bit more youthful than I am now, walking into a Toys R Us store and and just knowing that, oh my goodness, this treasure chest, give me all mine, right? Did you ever, Tina, get a Christmas wish book and say, Oh, I don't deserve that? No, I used to mark everything off.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Yes, exactly. When I had the pages, yeah, when I had my own kids, I got them each their own book.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. Yeah, should have done that as a mom.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

Right? I did that because I was like, I remember the joy, right? I used to pick up my Christmas wish list, and then I always did. If I had a house on my own, how would I decorate it? Right. So I would go through and I would circle the, you know, all the furniture and you know, the curtains, all the things because I loved it. It was such a beautiful book.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

I love, I know. So I did the same thing. I circled everything because I wanted everything. Why not? We were such dreamers. Right. And so we still are those people. We truly are. That little kid inside of us just has perhaps some bigger dreams. Or, for instance, if you're like me, I always wanted to be a figure skater. You'll see me break out into the weirdest, wackiest figure skating pose anywhere. It could be in my kitchen, but truth be told, it sometimes happens when I'm out shopping and I just get this feeling as though, oh, I can. And I stretch my arms out and my legs are out there, and I think I'm a figure skater. And you know what? My dreaming isn't done yet. One day, I bet you I'm going to take figure skating lessons. And if I can just advance, not hanging on to the boards at the rink, that would be a good thing, right?

Dreams, Visioning, And Vision Walls

SPEAKER_02 8:02

So that's so awesome. I love that. And you know what? That that whole phrase, you're never too old, is coming up so strong right now, right? Because I mean, you're not old, right? There is absolutely no reason why you can't go get figure skating lessons and you don't even have to pay anyone. Just go buy a pair of figure skates, right? And go get a piece of ice.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

I went and bought the skates, so that's my first step. There you go. Because I want all of us to keep dreaming. So maybe some people don't have the dreams that um they have as kids. Maybe you've maybe outgrown that and that's okay. But what are your grown-up dreams? Do you have any travel aspirations? Is there a destination that if someone just gave you every ounce of money in the whole world and you could have anything you wanted, what would be your top three dreams? What would unthinkable dreams? What would you do? What would you take? And yeah, without any limits, everybody has dreams. They go, seriously. So if I were to gift you um a pair of tickets um for a flight anywhere around the world, I bet you would think of a destination. Right. I bet you would think of a destination, right? So we all have a magic wand. We just forgot that we have it, and we have forgotten to tap into our dreams. And so I want everyone to know that as a joy facilitator, I'm here to connect you back to your dreams because when we get excited about something to look forward to, just like me counting sleeps to having this podcast with you, it creates this energy, this ripple, and it creates excitement. Your days look brighter, right? Um, and so visioning to me is really important. And I wanted to choose the topic Vision Without Limits, rewriting goals, because we're not the same people that we were yesterday. So I'm not the same woman I was yesterday, and the woman I am today will be different tomorrow because we're always growing and evolving, becoming our next best selves. We're always writing the next chapters of our life. But how do we want that to look? And so for me to stay connected to dreams and visions and desires, I do vision boards. I actually even do um a vision journal, for instance, that has pictures of the things that I want to do, the places that I want to see, the person that I want to grow into. So I envision me in different scenarios in my life. And that gives me something to be excited about. And it's really important that we don't set a time limit either. Yes, we can have all these dreams and desires, but I really believe that they will come when we're meant to receive them, right? Right. Universal divine energy, whatever the belief is for anybody, all good things happen in time. And I think we've heard that saying before. Yes, absolutely. All good things really can't happen unless you give something to get your brain and your heart attached to, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Yeah. If you don't know what to dream for, you don't know what to work for.

Joy For Others And Shared Experiences

SPEAKER_00 11:26

Yeah. So we need to steer our minds and our hearts in down a certain path. And so vision boards are really important to me. Um, in fact, I created Tina. I have to be honest, across from my computer right now, I have a vision wall because I don't stop at one board and keep creating panels and adding to it. And so my vision wall isn't just the things that I want in my life. We as women are such givers, right? Too often we put ourselves last because we're so giving to everybody else first. And I decided that I needed to amplify my energy a little bit more on my dreams and desires. But what really fuels me is when I can give to others. And so on my vision wall, I actually have experiences there that I'd love to share with family and friends. So, an example would be having one of those outdoor luxury picnics. I host a supper club every month here in my home, and we have different themes. But wouldn't it be amazing to envision everybody outside in a beautiful park setting and we have this luxury picnic that's catered for, and we've got all the beautiful pompous grass and this lovely little tent, right? I can just feel it, and that's what I want to share with your audience too, is when we feel how good that is to be in that dream, in that vision, we've already planted the seed and created the ripples to make that happen. Absolutely. I can see my family and friends, and we're having our glass of wine and it's being catered, and we're laughing and just having this incredible experience. So, my vision wall, or it can be anybody's vision board or your vision journal, can have things for other people. I have a travel trailer out there, and I envision that for my daughter and son-in-law, and my new grandchild, my little granddaughter, who is now officially two weeks old. And I have this image of a travel trailer and it's nestled in the mountains, and there's a lawn chair outside of that travel trailer. I'm sitting there and playing with my little granddaughter as her mom and dad are sleeping, and I've got my camping coffee right next to me, and we've got this beautiful mountain air, and I'm embracing this beautiful experience that I'm having with my family.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Oh, I love that. It makes me so excited. Like you've got me, like you've got the adrenaline flowing, right? Like, and I and my brain is going, okay, well, what's what's next? Right? Oh, wow, I love that. I so I I want to know though, Connie, when like, I mean, lots of women in our age group, you know, and and other women too, but I, you know, relate more with the women that are in our age group. Um, how do you reconnect them with like if they're feeling stuck, you know, or they're just tired or they're disconnected because many of us are, how do you help like reconnect them to the joy, other than, you know, like just think back to when you were, you know, a six-year-old girl? That's such a discussion. Yeah, like the vision board. I mean, I can see it helping, but you know, if you're stuck feeling like you're going nowhere, like a vision board won't get you there.

From Stuck To Spark: The Joy Method

SPEAKER_00 14:56

No, it and and it doesn't. That is a it's an important piece to have. The vision board is more so a reminder for us to play, just like we were when we colored in coloring books and we were crafting in school, gluing and whatever, lick and stick, whatever that was, right? Playing with play-doh. So that's the play. We need to have play. But in my role as a joy facilitator, I actually have a four-week and eight-week program guiding us back to the heart of who we are. So um I teach the joy method. What I do is help remove the layers because we as women have different titles, we wear lots of hats, and often we wear a lot of masks. So we have a lot of layers, and sometimes we feel too comfortable in those layers. And what I do step by step is get us connected to the heart of who we are. So let's take off some of those layers, as many as we can that feel comfortable and still feel safe, right? And um, I start getting us thinking about what are the things that are really important to us, because when we connect to our values, the heart of who we are, those are all the things that have carried us all through life, our values, the things that are important to us. Um being respected, but treating others with respect, that kind and honesty factor, right? But also too, um, what are the things that make us feel good? And sometimes we have forgotten what makes us feel good. Yeah. We we have this thing of shoulds. We know we should be maybe having that evening bath. We know that we maybe should be journaling or taking time just for us, maybe going and having a spa, or maybe just going for a massage, or even a five-minute walk outside. There's all these shoulds, but when we take away that should component and change that, reframe our minds to and I get to, all of a sudden we start seeing more value in us, and we start inviting more things into our world. So my my series actually gets us reframing our thoughts, shifting how we think, increasing our deserve level, because we do deserve a lot. And the things that we give to others, we need to hold grace and give grace to us and reflect that back to us too.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Yeah, you know, and I've caught, I love how you said that. I've caught myself saying to other women, like mostly women, but even to my own kids, where you know, they'll say, you know, they might not say it directly, but you know, they're basically saying, I don't deserve this, right? But I catch myself saying that every single person on this earth deserves the same thing, right? We are all here from the same, like we're all here for the same thing, right? We all have different purposes once we're here, but we all came to like to live that purpose, right? And so that means that we are all deserving of whatever is there for us to take, right?

Training Attention With Five Senses

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I connect us back to our inner power, set intentions, and the other thing too is we connect with feelings. Too often we discard how we feel, or we as women try to push it down, right? So I get us connecting back to how do we feel as we're moving through our day? And are we feeling unstuck in some areas? And if we are, yay, it's good that we're identifying them, right? So the joint method actually gets you noticing what your thoughts and feelings are, and if they're heavy, if they're feeling stuck, well, identify them, honor them. Often our feelings have us also feeling stuck in our body. So is there a tension in our body, right? Recognizing where does that discomfort live? And you and I talked earlier about contrast. Sometimes we need the shitty in our lives, right? To appreciate gratitude. Yeah. I call it contrast, um, because we need sometimes the heavy stuff, that contrast in our lives to make us realize there's actually some really good stuff going on at the same time, too. So creating an awareness as to where we are in life, what are we feeling? Where is that resting in our bodies? And then identifying that, honoring it, because we need to honor all of our emotions, not just some of them, not just the good stuff. Honor that because that brought us here today. And to remember and uh recognize that we don't have to stay here. So, what do we want to feel? And then I create a vision. I do joy visioning, so I do guided meditations where we actually move you past that stuck and move you forward to what feels good. Oh wow. Visioning, how does that feel? So joyful meditation and that visioning is really important. That's part of my program, so that you're actually seeing yourself in this lighter you. How does that feel? Connecting to the feelings, because when our head and our mind feel this new energy, it wants more of it, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:28

And it gives you something like it, you know, once you you're able to bring them to that light and joyous feeling, it also gives you something to look forward to, right? Like it's like, oh, when that crappy contrast comes back, right? Then it's like, but remember, I can feel that way because I did in in Connie's workshop, I did feel that. That means I know how to get there.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Right. Yeah, exactly. So there's seven steps to the joy method, and um, no matter what's going on in your day, whether you've had an argument with someone, you can quickly go through the joy method, those seven steps, and just say, okay, this is how I'm feeling. Oh, I feel it right here in my shoulders or wherever that may rest in your body. Or it might even just be a clenched jaw where oh, not happy about this. But okay, honor that. How would you like this situation to look? And just take a moment to pause, and just a moment to pause, practicing that mindfulness is what can move us through our day. That's actually I call it joy in motion. People think that joy has to be something that's really elevated and amplified. Joy is just moments when we feel lighter. Yeah. Right? When we feel that we're in control. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Yeah. Well, and the whole joy in motion, that's like really perfect because I was told once emotions are feelings that move. It's energy perfect, yeah. Right. And so, you know, it like that whole joy in motion, it's not like a steady feeling. It's not a steady, like this is joy. Joy is like it's the energy around that you're feeling.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Yeah, living in harmony, having that ease and flow versus the highs and the lows, right? Yeah, but just having that ease and flow, that's what we were designed to to live and experience through life. And now we all know in reality, it's not always like that. But when you have the tools, when I can teach the foundation of how to get that back quicker so that it's not highs and lows, that it's just little elevations, little drops, right? And then you harmony. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

I love that. I really love that. Now, obviously, your you know, your daily work, you're working with simple, simple pleasures, every like things that happen all the time. But as the the average person, I mean, they don't see that, right? We don't see that. We kind of talked about that in the, you know, the, you know, we have to feel the shitty before we can feel the joy. Why do you think that happens? Like, why do we stop noticing? And how do we like how do you like sort of put it in our heads to start noticing them again? How do you do that?

Reframing Get-To’s And Everyday Play

SPEAKER_00 23:19

You gotta, you actually have to train yourself because we have so many distractions nowadays. Our phones, for one, can consume a whole lot of our lives, right? The scrolling, all the social media, um, connecting with people in so many different ways. We actually need to set up um a routine and train ourselves to finding um the good around us, or just even having moments to breathe and go, oh, this is my time. Honoring ourselves is so important, and we we stopped realizing that a long time ago, is that we give so much to other people that we're exhausted by the time it comes to us. And most women are that way, right? Because we're the nurturers, the caregivers, we're the doers. We're so much in the doing that we're not in the being, and we need to be present to ourselves and not only to everybody else. And that's why I said we need to give ourselves the same grace that we give to other people. We're so lenient with other people and say, Yeah, no problem, go do it. But we need to do that to us, and it it comes with creating a routine or a ritual. I wasn't always this way, I was always high vibing on energy that I was going 150 million miles in a minute. I don't know how I did that, but I did. And yet going to bed absolutely exhausted, and yet still having all those thoughts in my mind swirling of my to-do's the next day, they were my oh, I have to do this, I have to do that. I'd like to just share one simple little practice to help start creating some ease and flow in people's lives is before you go to bed at night, have a little notebook or a journal, a little pocketbook, whatever that might be. And if you can write down five things that made you feel good. And if you can't think of five off the top, I'm gonna use the five senses as an example. What was something you saw today that caught your attention that took you out of the land of busy? And it could be something that was happening as you were driving by and you go, Oh, hey, that was kind of cool. Or maybe you saw um some kids playing, whatever that might be, something you saw. Write it down. What was something that you heard that put a smile on your face? Could have been a song, maybe kids laughing, and you go, Oh my god, I remember that, right? Um, what was something that you smelled? And so earlier today I caught a whiff of some fresh baking as I was going past the Italian bakery, and it just reminded me of being a little girl, and my mom used to bake homemade cinnamon buns and bread, and it just took me back to moments in time. Then with your taste, what was something that you tasted that was savory that made you feel good? Or what words were expressed with your mouth, either you or through somebody else that made you feel good, right? So the five senses, and not only just writing down that moment, you can actually take it a little bit step a step further, and how did that feel? So when I heard some kind words today, how did that make me feel? Again, connecting to the feelings. When you take, and this takes maybe five minutes at the end of the day, that's your gratitude journal right there. And what you're doing is planting the seeds for your head and your heart to start working through as you sleep in your subconscious, so that when you wake up in the morning, you're actually going to feel lighter and brighter. Start by reading again those five things, and then if there's something that you thought of, add to it and then continue with your day.

Vision Without Limits Into Action

SPEAKER_02 27:16

And then, yeah, and then that sets your your brain up for noticing it the next day. Oh my gosh, I love that. And how easy is that?

SPEAKER_00 27:26

It just takes a few minutes, but it's listen, you know, there's this thing it takes when 21 days to make or break a habit. It really does. Um, so for instance, a little extra that you can do in the morning is when you wake up, read them, set an intention for the for the day. And I it could be something as simple as today is a great day. We don't have to know what the outcome is, just today is a great day. And just by writing that down, you're already setting the intention of bringing great things into your day. Right. And so that's opening your heart to receive um gratitude, but you're also then looking, right? By using the five senses, I've now created little seeds in each of you to start looking. Oh, what was something I saw today that made me feel good? What was something that I heard, right? So planting the seeds. And if you do that for 21 days, no word of a lie, you'll already be experiencing a lot of other things coming into your world. And that starts the foundation because it doesn't, right?

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Yeah, no, I really like that. I think that that's really good. I'm not, I'm not really good at journaling. Like I I have like 12 journals in my in my night table. Like I I've tried it, right? Like I've tried it. I thought, you know, maybe this one's not pretty enough, or you know, like there's so many different things that could be the cause of why I don't want to do it. And I really haven't figured out why I don't like doing it, but I don't, right? But when I hear things like this, you know, it gets me kind of a little inspired, right? Because there's always something, always. It doesn't matter how little, right? It doesn't have to be the big things. And I it's you know, part of the whole celebrations, right? Like it doesn't have to be the big things. Like if you're celebrating the fact that you emptied the dishwasher today, celebrate it. Break that down. Yes, yeah, that's that's an accomplishment, right? Right. I mean, for some people, it's not a big deal, right? But for some people, you know, that you know, especially women, I the women in my, you know, the like that I coach, they're struggling with their daily routines. They're not just struggling with finding a job or finding happy, they're struggling like just getting out of bed, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:45

That's exactly it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

And so, you know, when you do something that you haven't done, you know, regularly for a while, celebrate it. You know, you don't have to be, you know, just do a little, you know, five-minute dance or 10-second dance. Or even just pat yourself on the shoulder and say, Oh, I did it. Like, good for you. Yeah, and don't be afraid, right? Don't be ashamed to talk to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Oh, I talk to myself all the time. I love my brother come into the house, he'd go, Who are you talking to? Oh, that was just me.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

I talk to the cat, right? And I talked to the mom before she passed away, right? Like and then, like, seriously, mom, like that's it's a dog. And I'm like, Yeah, but she hears me and she reacts to me, like she's happy for me, right? You guys don't care.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Exactly. Okay, so that that's another element of joy. If if ever you don't know what joy is supposed to look like, if anybody has a dog, the way they come and greet you, they're so excited to see you, that's joy in motion, right? And unconditional love. Exactly, unconditional love. Cats, they love it when you know you can just give them that moment of attention and then they start purring. That's joy, right? Yeah. Just connecting to just feeling them purr. Emptying out the dishwasher. I can't tell you how many times as a young mom, if I could get the dishwasher emptied in once in a day, that would be a miracle, right? Yeah. Um, and then sometimes I would set myself a little timer. How fast can I do this? You know, it'd make it fun. Oh my god, yeah. I put the kitchen timer on uh on the stove and go, okay, can I empty the dishwasher in three minutes? Okay, anymore, can set go and I I make my tea.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

Yeah, you're right. I make my tea. I'm like, I wonder if my tea will be ready before the dishwasher will be emptied, right? Right, right. Because I hate emptying the dishwasher. I love loading it because I love clearing off the counter. But emptying the dishwasher, it's a pain, right? I don't know why. I I don't know why it is. It's a convenience, right? We should be happy, but it's a pain in the neck.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

Okay, so then find ways to make that fun, right?

SPEAKER_02 32:00

And that's kind of what I do now, right? Because I mean, yeah, I don't really care to do it.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

So and then reframing. So I call them get-to's. I get to pay my bills. I am so grateful that I actually have bills to pay. Yeah, so that's a whole yes. Because that meant that I have a roof over my head, I've had heat, water, right? And you have the money to pay for it, right? Get to empty the dishwasher because look at the beautiful meals that were provided. And this is right, an example.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Like the whole family ate for the entire day. And look at look, yeah, yeah. I did get that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Those plates created experiences, family moments, right? Shared stories, right? Even if you're just eating on the fly, they still were moments in your day. Wow, that's thankful for.

SPEAKER_02 32:51

I love that. I love that. So tell me, we I want to go back to the whole vision without limits. When someone is feeling like their dreams have shrunk over time, I mean, I think a lot of us can say that, you know, when we're in our 20s, we have these big dreams. I'm gonna do so much. And then all of a sudden you're 30 and those dreams are starting to slowly disappear. How do you help? How do you help us rewrite those goals, you know, in a way that feels expansive and alive?

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Everybody has dreams and visions in different ways. Some people like to have the visuals, like me, for instance. I like the pictures, so the vision boards are a really great way for me to anchor. But I much like you, Tina, I didn't journal. I it I had all these beautiful journals and go, oh, I can't put anything. I always thought you had to write all of your like spill your heart out into those journals. And a journal can be anything that you want it to be, and that's why I I just planted the little seed of collecting beautiful moments using the five senses, right? Just write down some things to make you feel good. That that is such a beautiful way to start training your brain into finding something good. Your journal could just even be a list of the things that you'd like to accomplish in the next six months, and it gives you something to focus to. So for some people, writing things down or creating um a file on your phone, right? Um, we all have a notes section in our phones, right? And it could just be writing something down. What would I like to experience in the next in the next month? Whether it's something career oriented, whether it's something uh related to health and wellness, it could be um something that you want to accomplish as far as travel, could be a financial goal as well, too. Just write it down because writing it down is so important. Keeping it here in our head is one thing, but we need to connect an energy to it. We need to connect some emotions to it. That's why the feelings is so important. And when we write something down and have something to focus and revisit on, it creates an energy. So, how do we start creating uh visions without having any limits? It's it's taking the moment to just start somewhere. It could be one thing that you write down, one thing that you talk about, share it with somebody. Maybe you're the vocal type where you just want to share with someone that you care about, someone that you know will help support you, and just say, I really want to do this. I'd like to do it within the next month, but anytime soon would be great. And just someone can keep you accountable and say, so how's that coming? Having the dream that creating an action step is the next part, right? And so writing your goals down is really important. But if you're not going to create the next step, then how does it create an energy to it? So if someone has a travel goal, the next step would be call a travel agent or Google some itineraries of what you would like to do when you're there, right? Creating that next step because I can have a whole vision board, but if I don't have something attached to it, it just stays a vision, it's a dream.

Rituals, Gratitude, And Becoming

SPEAKER_02 36:19

But it isn't I when I decide I want to go away, I book time off my calendar. Yeah, right? I book it on my calendar and I'm like, Tina will be in, you know, like I just came back from Phoenix, and I'm like, you know, that's that's the name of my event on the calendar. Tina will be in Phoenix, right? So yeah, and so I was like, you know, okay, so in my mind, I was going away. That meant number one, I had to like make sure that I was ready for the trip and I had to have enough work before and after so that I didn't have to squeeze too much of it in my time away, right? Yeah, right. And I mean, of course it's gonna work different for everyone, right? But when you set a goal like that, you know, sometimes the next step is a smaller step, but it's something to get you motivated. Because I I mean, we could say, Yeah, I'm going to Italy next year, right? I could we everybody can say that. But if you don't actually take that next step, the third step won't happen.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

Right. Yeah. So when do you want to be in Italy next year? What month would you like to be in? Okay, so pick the month, then pick the date, right? Yeah. And um just giving ourselves permission to dream, to create these visions, to have goals. We need to set some time. So maybe say in the morning while someone's having a cup of coffee or their morning tea. Um, just write down a few things that you'd like to have experienced in the next month, in this next six months, in this next year. We get to be the authors of our life story. So, how do you want your next chapters to look, right? Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

That's actually a really great idea. Like we all, well, I don't know if we all do, but we have somewhat of a to-do list, right? Like we know the stuff that we have to get done, right? Why can't that be like an experience list? Like, I want to go to this restaurant this month, or I want to go to a movie, or I want to go to a plate or something, right? You don't have to make it.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Yeah. Too often we put our dreams and and visions, goals, whatever you want to call them, we put them on a shelf called someday. Yes. Right? We put them on a calendar date called someday, but my calendar starts with Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, not someday. Yeah, someday's. Yeah. So why are we putting our dreams, our aspirations, the things that we really want to experience in life? Why are we put them putting them on a date that doesn't even exist on a calendar? Yeah. So we we need to bring them to life. So we need to put them somewhere that we can see them and make them happen. So call it your I get to list, right? Um love it. Yeah, why wait? Because we do have to-do lists, call them I get-to's, but let's create a dreams list. Yeah, I get to dream and experience this and write them down. I love it. And it could be on all aspects of life: career, finance, family, health and wellness, right? Whatever that may be.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

Yeah, yeah. The fat the how the the life wheel, the wheel of life, right? Like that's if you look at all the wheels or all the the pies on the wheel, then you know how to set your goal. I I know that uh I want to ask you just a few more questions before we close here. But the first one, can you share a moment in from your own life, whether personal or work, where choosing joy required courage and focus and not just positivity?

SPEAKER_00 39:58

Oh, I can think of so many moments. Life has brought me so many experiences, Tina. Um I've had a lot of hardships, but I'll have to say the one that stands out most recently is um being violently assaulted and ending up with a brain injury.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

I'm so sorry.

Parting Wisdom & Closing

SPEAKER_00 40:26

And not being able to find your words. They were somewhere in my head, but yet they didn't know how to come out. And so life wasn't joyful. And this is how I had to learn the importance of trying to create a practice, something to anchor to, something that would give me my superpowers back and know that I can be more than I am. That today is a great day, finding gratitude in the little things. When someone would say something to me, um, my daughter, for instance, it would take me a while to be able to receive her message in my head. Try to think of the words to say back and then say them. And for some people, they're looking at me, why like I'm just talking to you, and you're staring at me blank. And it's because it would take me so long to formulate what I needed to say. Um, because the words didn't come out automatically. So for me to know that, yay, I said a sentence, or something would just instantly flow, and I could have a conversation. That was moments of gratitude for me. Like, I did it. Those are celebrations, and we all have moments to celebrate every day. I focused on what I wanted my outcome to be. That's how I became actually a joy facilitator. That's how joy visioning has become the signature part of anybody who takes my joy sessions with me. My program, I have two programs called Ignite Your Light, and the other is called Your Light Within. I needed to ignite my own light to know that I could be better than I am at this present moment. And I had to look at all the obstacles in my day, not being able to brush my teeth. Couldn't figure that out. Holding this thing in my hand, going, I have no clue what you're supposed to do with you. But yet I have a little poster note that says brush your teeth. Oh, okay, I need help, right? But so whatever obstacles I had in my day, they were my opportunities to grow. And life still is not perfect for me, and I don't want it to be perfect because I want me to have some obstacles in my day to know that I still have areas to continue to grow. We all have challenges, I call it the contrast. We all have challenges in our day. They they are what teach us to be better versions of ourselves, to grow past them, to be the next person we are meant to be tomorrow. So, through um setting rituals every day, doing the same thing every day, every day, every day, repetition has brought me to where I am today. Me envisioning who I wanted to be. And so I would close my eyes and I would do a meditation and envision myself being this vibrant person, this vibrant woman who is celebrating every moment of every day, living her most vibrant life. I was experiencing in my vision the people around me, celebrating with me, enjoying life with me, being able to do long distance walks, going to the mountains, having dinners gathered around my table. Knowing that one day I'm going to be able to cook a big meal again and it's going to come natural. I won't have to have all these helpers in my life. And here I am, yes, walking, talking, living joyfully, living with gratitude in my heart. Being a dreamer and a visioner, knowing that that little girl inside of me, she wasn't meant to stop playing. She was meant to kept to keep on dreaming, right? That's why I want us to connect to that little person inside of us. Because we didn't stop dreaming when we looked at those catalogs, right? When birthdays were coming, we knew what we wanted. We asked for it, right? Yeah. Yeah, that person is still inside of us. That children. I love it. I love that. So we still have dreams. Ask for them. Put it out there. Share, share with whoever is important to you and say, I want this in my life. I want you to be a part of it if that's important to you too, right? Include them. Get them excited. Right? If there's a holiday, yeah, share it with whoever you want to have on this vacation. We're doing this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

Yeah, for sure. You know, it's funny, you just answered my last question. I if if our listeners gave themselves permission to live without with vision and without limits, what would you hope that they would remember about joy as they step into their next chapter?

SPEAKER_00 45:30

Oh what all I wish for everyone just to just dream, be fun, be silly. Um whether it's going out and just buying that drumstick ice cream cone that is not 25 cents anymore, that's$3 and whatever. Oh my god, it's so ridiculous. Yes, but you know what? Have those moments that take you back in time because life has always been fun and playful. We just forgot. So do whatever your big self says is fun and playful. Whether it's blowing bubbles, I leave snow angels on people's front lawns, right? Why not? Right. And I want them to go outside and go, what the heck? Who did that? Yeah, right. It was fun. Takes me in the moment. I would invite all of our listeners today to remember that there is a light inside of all of us. It has never ever gone away. We just let other things take us away from that heart of who we are.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

I love that. Connie, thank you so much for reminding us that joy doesn't need to be earned, rushed, or perfected. And it's something that we can return to over and over again. But we don't have to forget it. We don't have to lose it. So thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

You're welcome. We are joy. Just remember, we came into this world a bundle of joy. We are it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for having me. It's been such a joy. Yeah. If today's conversation resonated with you, I invite you to pause and ask yourself, where have I been distracted from my joy? And what would it look like to come back home to it? This is confidence in Bloom. This is what confidence in Bloom is all about: choosing aligned vision, determined action, and a life that feels meaningful from the inside out. Be sure to connect with Connie and explore her work. And as always, remember, you don't need permission to live your dreams, just the willingness to begin.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

Until next time, keep blooming. Thanks for listening. This show was brought to you by Divas That Care. Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divas that care.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.