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Your Ego Called; Your Horse Said Hang Up
Come and listen to our Host, Joyce Benning, as she chats with today's guest, Kate Neligan, for our “End of Year, Beginning of Me” Podcast Series.
A powerfully themed mini-series helping women close the year with clarity and step into the next one with grounded self-love and vision.
Kate Neligan is an Equine-Partnered Life/Business Coach who supports her clients' intuition, emotional intelligence, and empowered leadership both virtually and in-person with horses and goats. Kate left her VP of Marketing career at a movie studio to pursue her calling for the transformation that happens within the human-animal bond. She brings her Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and numerous trainings in various healing modalities to her 15 years as a coach. Kate is passionate about helping women to thrive and is a best-selling author with stories in the books The Power of Being a Woman and Women Will Save the World. She is also an Animal Communicator & Healer and is published in the books Animals and Nature by Common Sentience. Kate is a motivational speaker with a TEDx talk on perfectionism. The Awakening With Equines certification program and horse wisdom card deck she created is for new or next-level equine-partnered coaches who are trailblazing new paths with humans and horses.
For more on Kate: www.kateneligan.com
For AWE card deck: https://www.kateneligan.com/carddeck
Follow on IG: @KateNeliganEquineCoach
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/awakeningwithequines
We explore the close of a nine-year cycle and the opening of a new one by balancing personal renewal with collective service, with horses and nature as our guides. Practical tools meet spiritual insight to help you complete, celebrate, and begin with faith over fear.
• end-of-year review with do, delete, delegate
• self-acknowledgement as core self-care
• gratitude for small moments in nature and with animals
• balancing me and we through service in 2026
• sovereignty, triggers, and the power of neutrality
• shadow work as releasing the backpack of rocks
• liminal space, resilience, and expanding faith
For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com
It's Divas that Care Radio. Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change. Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone. This is a global movement for women, by women, engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations. To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show. Right now, though, stay tuned for another jaunt of inspiration.
SPEAKER_02:Welcome to Divas That Care Network. I am Joyce Lenning, and I will be the host for this magical robust lifestyle show. I have with me my amazing, amazing guest, Kate Nelligan, and her and I are going to chat about end of year, beginning of me. Oh my, will this be a magical show? And with that, Kate, would you please introduce yourself to our listeners today?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, thanks as having me. It's been a bit, and I'm super happy to chat with you. So I'm an equine partnered life and business coach and animal communicator and creator of the Awakening with Equines certification program and card deck. And so for me, my purpose is really about uh spiritual growth around partnering with horses, and I also work with goats.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, how awesome! And yes, to follow you on Facebook and Instagram, she posts such beautiful posts about her goats and her horses, it's just amazing. Thank you. So, Kate, how would you like to start sharing with our audience about end of year, beginning of me?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I just think it's such an interesting topic in that, you know, numerologically, if you look at if you believe in and you study numerology, this is a nine year based on how that's computed. And so it's really the ending of a lot of things. It's a time for completion of this nine-year cycle. And next year, 2026 is a one-year, so it's the start. Um, and so it's funny because I was thinking beginning of me, but I also think of beginning of we, because me is how do I, how do I really go deeper into self-care and self-love and self-honor and self-prioritization? And also, it's also beginning of we, which is we need to start to think about humanity and working in unification energy. And I think about that a lot too, that the personal growth movement, which I've been a part of for 15 plus years, can be very much about this me-centric world of how do I, you know, how do I get better? And there's this constant striving for personal growth, which I love. And we also have to hold for the collective too. That right now we're not just feeling our own stuff, but we're feeling everyone else's stuff too, especially if we're empaths or highly sensitive. Um, and even we just can't escape it. So we want to also balance the me with the we was kind of the first topic that came in when I was thinking about this talk.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I just love that balancing the me with we and the unification of energy. I mean, how we just need to all come together. And I always say we're all a full circle web, whether and all the animals, all the plants, all of nature, everything is included in that web. And just creating it to be a full circle. And I love that, like I said, unification of energy. So yeah, I love that me coming together with we.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I think if we look at it practically, because I always like to look at it from that perspective, you know, I love to do end-of-year completion activities. So when we can talk about how to like work on the me, and then we can also talk about how to work on the we, which, you know, that me thing, I always like to go back and look at each month and really look at the things I want to celebrate from each month that I feel like I did well, and the things that maybe are still open because there's this thing called open energy circles or cycles of incomplete action, and they can drain us, and we don't really want to carry that energy into next year if it's a beginning, start of a new fresh year. So this is a great time to complete as much as we need to. And I like the do delete it or delegate model for that, and um, and then there's like a lot to to look at celebration because you know, being a reformed, you know, perfectionist and like going from, you know, being a type A to like what I call a type B plus, we often think, oh gosh, there's so much I didn't get to this year. Like I know myself this is more of a personal focused year than professional. And so I really have to, you know, give myself credit for the personal things, whereas usually I give myself I only give myself credit for the the professional things that I've accomplished. And so it's really seeing it differently and having a shift. So I like the going back kind of monthly and writing down a couple things that, you know, maybe aren't fully complete, um, things that maybe didn't go well that we can learn from, that we can just be have compassion for. This year was a lot of endings for a lot of people around different friendships or different relationships, um, maybe different places you've lived or work, different things are ending. So, like being with that and in compassion. And then also, like, what are the celebrations? So, what are the things that we want to actually give ourselves credit for and acknowledge ourselves? Because that is an act of self-care and self-love to do self-acknowledgement. And it it's often we look acknowledge us, but if we do it ourselves, then we actually see it more from the outside. So it's really generating that outer reality is a reflection of inner reality. So we want to start with self-acknowledgement. So those are kind of my favorite quick tips for kind of end of year completion to do like a year review.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I love that. And the celebration of the things we've we've accomplished or we've done. And I think as women, I know personally, sometimes we overlook them, even the little things. I mean, just sometimes it's just be happy that we're up each day. And if the sun is shining out there, and like this morning, I saw red birds again and I hadn't seen them for a while, and just a celebration of what we notice out in nature. And it's to me, it's the little things sometimes that we often overlook and think, oh, they're just everyday life. No, they're celebrations to me of the little things that are happening in life that we have seen.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, yeah, and there's that that don't sweat the small stuff, but there's also that net like where we don't want to get hung up on little things. Um, I just had a a client here that was sharing about some work in um Kenya, and it was a reminder that you know, there are lots of places outside of the United States that you know don't necessarily have the same resources and they they they are super grateful for so much. So it really is a time to be grateful right now um for what we do have and to not take stuff for granted and to not sweat the small stuff. But then also I always I'll never forget when my I was at my friend's um funeral uh shortly before I moved out of Colorado, and I I was watching um a slideshow of her and all these beautiful photos, and she was sitting with her granddaughter and uh or her grandkid and cat. And I swear I felt her next to me just saying it's the little things that matter. It's just the little things, it's those little moments, and it was, you know, it's really touching because it's like, you know, those are the salient pieces. Like for me, you're I love that you it's always the birds visiting you. And on the property I I live on now, the neighbors' cats come over and say hi to me and hang out with me at night, and we'll sit and we'll watch the moon together. And you know, we watch the star, I watch the stars with my horses, and it's like that stuff is so you know, maybe people would not really pause and notice that, you know, but I I just see it as a gift anytime one of these cats comes over and wants to sit in my lap and hang out with me. It's just a huge um honor, really. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I can totally relate to that because almost every evening, later in the evening, my dog wants to go outside. And so we go out and we have many cats, but there's one cat every time I go out, there she comes, and she wants me to hold her while we're looking at the stars and just enjoying nature out in the dark, and it there is just something magical about it, and she just takes her paws and gently taps my face, and it's just it's magic, is what it is, and so yeah, just being grateful that I can share that time with my animals and be out in nature in the dark like that. It yeah, it's amazing.
SPEAKER_00:There's something about ranch living that's so cool for that because I know that you know, being outside at night is not something that a lot of women usually experience, you know, in the city or even a suburb because we're not, you know, we're not used to like that experience, you know. And you know, you can talk to a lot of women about and they're like, oh yeah, I don't usually go out at night. And and so like this this being out at night thing has been kind of like one of my greatest joys of of living on on Acreage and being in nature. And yeah, it's really made me have a connection to something much greater than myself. There's this humility that can happen when we look up in the night sky too, where we're like, oh, we're so tiny here. Like we're really, you know, we have to get out of our ego and realize there's like so much more going on in the world and then the you know, multiverse, so to speak.
SPEAKER_02:So yes, yes, there definitely is. And just just being grateful for those things, like you said earlier, and noticing them. I think that is that is just huge, and not taking them for granted.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, the connection is beautiful, especially interspecies connection, which you and I have talked so much about in the past. There's like so much in that for learning and just this feeling of feeling loved and seen that we don't always get from humans, but we can really feel from our animals, like that, you know, they hold the space that we are enough, and then we can we can meet them there and know that we are enough from from how animals see us as well.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly. Oh, so true, so true. And that's where the full circle web comes in to me is it's just we're all one and we all work together and help one another. And to me, that's the start of beginning of me is knowing that I can help the animals and be out in nature and uh provide for them in that way too.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah, the me piece is really this this like celebration, completion and celebration, and and that that creates greater self-connection. And then when I think of the we piece, it's really how do we want to grow in 2026 from the perspective of service, right? Because for me, I was like a crazy ego at one point, and it was because my whole life was just about me. Like it was, you know, when am I getting a promotion? And like, who was I dating and what who were my friends? And it was just like me centric, and I wasn't happy. And then I got my master's in spiritual psychology and truly opened up to like this beautiful, compassionate space of like what's actually going on in humanity and the trauma people have been through, and and just like the heart-opening space of um of what compassion can do, like what we really feel when we realize like there's not, it's not just about our individual paths, that there's so much more happening. And so that's really, you know, in my masters, they asked us, how do we want to serve? Like, what are we here for? Who am I and why am I here? And how can I best be used of service on this planet? And so I think of it a lot too is like, how do we, how do we start to journal for 2026 about how we want to be of service more? What does that look like? So for me, I always think of like new projects that I want to birth into the world that would help people, um, like the card deck, which I know you have. Like, I wanted to do the Awakening of the Equines card deck to honor the courses and really their collective wisdom, but also to help the equine practitioners that are out in the world that wanted exercises and wanted different ways of working. Um, and didn't, you know, I had already tested them and utilized these mindfulness activities. So I think we want to journal on what we want to do to be of service in 2026. And it may not be through a business, it may be through how we are with our family, right? It may be like I was talking to someone recently, and it was like he's making a commitment to be down, to be at dinner every night, you know, five days a week with his family. And that's his that's his new commitment. And then there's also um how we want to be a service, maybe as a volunteer, and how, you know, like or in donations and how we gift our service. We really have time, money, and energy, right? Those are the three ways that we have resources to gift. So I think looking at 2026 and looking at service is really a great thing because that is there's a great documentary called Happy. I was just talking to someone about, and it really is about community that makes us feel happiness and also service, how we are of service. Um, and so I think it's like how is our own light on so we can be of service, and how is our cup filled so we can be of service, but truly also, you know, what are the activities we might want to contribute? And it can be lots of different things, you know, just locally, there's always needs, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yes. And being of service to the animals always comes to my mind. I know people talk about a lot of different things of being of service at Christmas time and throughout the holidays, and um always comes to my mind, and let's not forget the animals, because a lot of them like even feeding the birds outside as living in parts of the United States where it gets cold during the winter and they need food, and making sure the horses' water is always open and the dogs and the cats, and just being of service to the animals to me, just warms my heart, as well as being service to people too. So that's just something that came to my mind when you talked about being of service.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and it's so it's so true. It can be really simple to be of service to our uh to our own animals. Sometimes it's just like being an animal communicator. One of the things that animals say to me a lot is they just want their humans more present. They just, you know, they want them, if they're going away or traveling, to let them know, hey, I'm going away, this is how long I'll be gone for, this is when I'm coming back, to send them energy each night or check in with them, like, you know, energetically when you're traveling, but to also just be present when you are home and to really, you know, to see them, to thank them, to ask them what they might need, ask them how they're doing today, you thank them for um something they've done for you. Like the other night I could cry talking about it, but I just said to one of my horses and I just said, Thank you for taking such good care of me. You know, she just does. Like I was doing some grief work and she came over and she just like literally kissed my cheek and then went back. She was eating, she was in the middle of eating, walked over, kissed my cheek, and then walked back. And I just thanked her. Thank you for taking such good care of me, you know, like because that's it's like it's just noticing and being really present. And and animals get us to slow down, they get us to be in that space when we're like in our heads and working all the time and all of that.
SPEAKER_02:So well, and that is something my horses have always always said, be in the present moment and live in that moment because that's the power is within that moment, and I see it so much because so many times we're I'll be out there doing things, and my mind is not where it needs to be with the animals, it's on what all else I need to be doing, and then all at once it's just like something hits me, and it's I look and they're there looking at me like, come on, get in this moment. This is where the beauty and the power is. And it is truly magical when you stay in that moment with your animals because they are they are so in the present moment, and they love it when you are, they love you being with them. And I always thank my animal, my horses almost every night daily. I thank them for choosing me and coming to live with me. I said, what an honor it is to have all of you in my life. So that is something I feel is, and I thank my dog too, and my cats. I thank all my animals.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, I love it. I mean, they really they flourish with that. I mean, I've heard so many times that animals like they're like they f they say they flourish more with gratitude, like that. And as humans, we can do that with each other too. I'm a big fan of like take a day and like write five gratitude notes to someone, you know. Like I've been thinking of all the beautiful people that have referred to me this year and how I want to thank them, you know, because that that makes me a better me, right? And it and I couldn't do what I what I'm doing without referral. So I'm super grateful for that too. And and yeah, the awe and wonder is in the moment, it's in the moment of connection, it's in the moment. It's not when we're thinking or we're in the future, we're in the past. It's this moment of like right now, I'm feeling what I'm feeling, and I'm aware of what I'm aware of. And it's where the mind, body, and spirit are meaning all at one to really, you know, feel the full sensation of on wonder. And that feels better than anything. I mean, that is such a high, high vibration to be in on wonder. Um, and and we just often have to set an intention to be in it, and the more we do it, the more comfortable it becomes, the more familiar, and then our systems can actually upgrade, up-level, um, and hold greater energetic capacity for higher vibration, right? Rather than, and that and this is the practice that I'm constantly in where I'm like this push-pull between my ego and my soul. And like, you know, on some days it's like, you know, depending on how my self-care is, which one wins. But I think that's the thing for 2026. Like, there's so much negativity that can pull us in that direction if we allow it, versus really working as sovereign beings to like have control, like real influence over our thinking, our emotions, and our choices. That's coming in a lot lately. That we we really have to be more disciplined on how we're starting the new year from a place of like what actually raises me up versus what what depletes or dreams me.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly. How true that is, and becoming that sovereign person that you take control of that and take control of your thoughts and not let what maybe happened during the day take control of what is going on and what it your thoughts are going to, and not I mean people can say things and maybe they're just having a bad day and you are just the one that they happen to say something to. And don't take it so personal. I mean, because sometimes they're just they're in where they need to vent something out. I've worked in customer service most of my life, and I mean I I see it so much, and sometimes coming back with a smile and say, Okay, I understand. Let's look at this another way and see how we can help you with this. And it's like you kind of flip the switch sometimes where they're like, okay, somebody actually does understand where I'm at, rather than getting defensive and upset with them because they're already upset. So yeah, it's just being your working at being your sovereign self and being able to be of service to others on how you can help them to feel better about themselves.
SPEAKER_00:I love that. Yeah, that's a real gift to be able to know that people's stuff that they project on you is their stuff and not not ours. I've I've been um dealing with people's projections lately, and it's been like, and it's almost like as soon as they say something to me, I know that they're pointing one finger with three pointing back at them, and it's really about them. And I'm like, you actually really believe this about yourself. I don't actually believe it at all about myself. So I'm just gonna say I hear you and not agree or disagree, but know that it's like I don't need to take that on, and that doesn't need to stick to me, and I don't, you know, I don't have to get so angry about it because sometimes I do. I'm just like, I didn't deserve to be talked to like that was awful. And then it's like, okay, this really is that someone else's someone else's stuff, and um, to kind of walk through the world with more of that center of like one of my horses has been talking lately about being like energetically bigger and not taking on. Um, there's a lot of energies that want to keep us small or keep us trapped or keep, you know, especially bright lights. And we have it's not that we have to fight that, but we have to be aware of it and still go like still shine the light bright, like as you were saying, like work with people in their triggers so that you don't also get triggered, right?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, and mentioning triggers that has come up so much here in my life lately. It's just like the spirits, the angels, the horses, all of them are saying, Okay, realize what your triggers are and then work through them. Let go of them, don't dwell on them because that is it's kind of like that is part of your past. And acknowledge them, but move forward then and don't carry them on and keep carrying that baggage with you because what someone said, they know that's your trigger point, and that's probably why they said it sometimes on personal people you know very well, and you're like, okay, no, I acknowledge that, but I'm not gonna let it bring me down, and I'm not going to take my good energy to dwell on that trigger like that. I'll acknowledge it and move forward.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, beautiful. I love that. It's like what we focus on grows. And we don't need to let I mean, I'm a huge believer that hurt people hurt people. So if someone is like trying to hurt you, they're literally just hurting, and that's all that's that's all that's going on. So it's like, can you have compassion and just be like, well, this is really about you? This is actually not about me at all. And and while I didn't deserve to be maybe called that, it's it is like, you know, maybe they are trying to get a rise out of me, and I can just hold the space of neutrality and just go, I don't need to engage with that. Sometimes lately, the answer for me has been silence is your best friend. Like just staying in the like, I don't need to defend, I don't need to argue, I don't need to explain, I don't need to prove like I can just hold the silence. I mean, okay. Yes, like that is enough of a response, and that's okay. It's not even a yes or no, it's just a complete neutral blank space. Um and so I've just been holding that as a as playing with that energy. But yeah, the not carrying it forward, you some my master's in spiritual psychology is to describe it as like we would hold it's almost like our traumas or our things we've been through in life are like a backpack filled with rocks. And the whole goal of like this end of year, beginning of me is like any personal growth work or like I'm going to put myself first. It the biggest work is the shadow work. It is the taking the rocks out of the backpack. It's not just, oh, I want to create and manifest, but it's also doing that harder stuff where it's like, okay, I'm not gonna hold on to this anymore. I'm gonna let that go. And I think what just happened astrologically and energetically is we have been really like pushed to recently look at, you know, who we are, what we sh how we show up, what we're willing to put up with. We're completing old patterns. I know for me it feels like from lifetimes ago. And it's we're moving forward as new beings. Like I literally feel like a different human than I was at the beginning of the year, and I know I'll be a different human next year. And so, and that's okay. And like to know that friendships might end because of that, because you're changing so much, you know, or to stay to stay single inside of a space where you're changing so much so you don't drag someone else through your changes, um, which it could be totally a beautiful learning experience, but it's like there's an opportunity to really like allow ourselves to do the time, have the time and space to do that work. I personally like to do the shadow work the most with the horses because I just feel very held in that and not judged, you know.
SPEAKER_02:So exactly. Oh, and when you said that about um letting go of things of the past and how to me, the horses have always been ones that have told me you don't have to explain to anybody, you don't have to explain why you're doing it this way or why you're letting go. That's between you and your soul and inside of you. And the horses say, just deal with that and don't try because they're gonna have an opinion too, and it may not be how you want it to go. So you don't have to do all the explanations, and like you said, friendships may change, and I love that because it's it is the end of some things, and so the beginning of others, and it was so good to hear you say all that because it's just where I feel I've been these last few months of this year, kind of this whole year of 2025 has kind of been ending of things and beginning of new. And it's good to know in this world that you're not alone, there's others experiencing the same things because we're all growing and changing.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, yeah, and this has been a big inner work year, which I love doing outer work. That's like where I enjoy, you know, like I'm in I enjoy like doing things and putting them out into the world. I'm like a maker in that space. However, this this year's been about the inner, like cleaning up the inside so that way, you know, we can enter into like a fresh perspective and we can um really hone in on what we're really here for. Like, I always think I know what I'm here for, and then the universe is like, well, what about this? And then I'm like, oh gosh, I'm really supposed to do that. Okay, you know, and like really being able to choose to like the universe sends me a ton of grief work lately, and I know I'm good at it, and I've done it for a long time, and I think I'm literally at the end of 2025, the end of the year, I think I'm saying no fully to my grief work with people, and I'm gonna refer them to others that are, you know, my clients that I trust to do those that work. I'll refer those clients on because I know that I really want to do more play-based work, you know, for people and joy-based work, and what does that look like? And how do I create that? And and also maybe even focus more on the animals than on the humans, because I've been just focused on humans for so long now as a coach. So, you know, it's like listening, not needing to change right away, but listening to what's coming as the new for the next year. And if it we're in a liminal space right now, liminal space feels uncomfortable because it's like not the old, not the new. We're kind of in this pause or this giant reset, or we're plugged in to the to the wall, but we're not usable because the phone is still rebooting. So it's like being okay in that liminal space of like the unknown, which usually the ego does not want to deal with the unknown ever. I don't love it myself, and it is there's such opportunity for surrender in that space and for trust. Like I'm in a total trust fall myself right now. And there's a lot, like that's a strengthening process. And I think that's really what's going on right now is like there's this inner strength that's getting cultivated through it, doesn't always get cultivated through ease, right? Enjoy it, usually gets cultivated through things that create like um a form of resilience and a form of of what I would call shadow work, but just dealing with our anger, our sadness, whatever it might be. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, how beautiful, Kate. And that just Kind of reminds me of my angel Groucho. He always has said, live with faith and not fear. And he was my healer dog here on earth. And now he's my angel. And that's what he taught me when he was here on earth. And it is so true. And he keeps live with faith and not fear. And when you really stop such little words, but they mean so much. And to me, that's what one of the things I take into end of the year beginning of me is to live with faith and not fear.
SPEAKER_00:That's so beautiful. Yeah, that actually is so our timing is so amazing because that's literally what I was working on last night. And I even use that, I kept saying, you know, my faith is as big as the night sky. And I kept repeating it. And I I reminded me of a story once of a of a guy in the personal development space. And he he couldn't grow and he kept saying, Why am I not growing? Why am I not growing? And he intuitively heard, like, because your faith in God is the size of this tiny room, like the closet. And how do you get a bigger container for faith? Like, how do you really grow your faith? And so he set an intention that his faith would be so big. And then he took off almost overnight in his work. And um, he was sending like love messages out into the world, and and it he had to have that practice. And I'm 100% in that. So I love that your dog is here sharing and reminding us of like and me of that because and all listening that it is about that. Like, so an opportunity maybe is how big is your faith? Like to think about it, you know, like would you go to the ocean and ask to have some of the ocean with like a little thumbnail, like a little shot glass, or would you bring a bucket, or would you bring a tank? Like, if you really are, you know, to to to sort of capture the energy of the ocean and how what would be the size of your faith? Like that literally was something I was thinking about just last night. Like, what is the size of our faith? Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, oh, how beautiful, Kate. And I knew this time would go so quickly. You have left so many golden nuggets with our listeners today. And I just always love chatting with you. And I think we have given people, the audience, so much that they have heard on end of year and beginning of me. And we are getting down to the last few minutes. So as we close this show, I just want to thank you so much, Kate. And if there's something quickly you would like to share with our listeners, please do.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, thank you so much. No, I'm just grateful. And hopefully there's something that really sparked, you know, for someone to think about and work with. And if you would like support, feel free to reach out. You can find me on katoneling.com. And um, yeah, I just I hope people will consider in Year of the Horse in 2026 doing some sort of beautiful healing work with horses wherever they are in the world, um, to really learn from horses and their wisdom, too.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, thank you, Kate. What a beautiful way to close this show. And I want to wish you the happiest of new year and the same to all of our listeners.
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